Random Things...

... that make me happy:

Brushing my teeth... Singing in empty lifts... Western food breakfast... Answering questions on the phone about parents or recruits with questions regarding enlistment and such.

... that annoy me:

People who ask for other people's number on the phone and then dial the number while they are talking to you (you will hear the beep sound)... People who call in and ask stupid questions...

Off Duty

So I take the day off and suddenly people keep calling me for duty...

First call is to change duty. Someone wants me to do duty tomorrow and he'll take over my Sunday duty on the 20th of April. Sounds like a good deal so I'm taking it.

Second call is that I have to be on duty on Sunday... I'm being activated because the guy who's supposed to do can't do it and apparently I have to be activated because I haven't been activated before... The plus side is that they will minus one duty day for me on the next month.

In the end I'll be doing only one duty this April (minus one from an original two) and they'll minus another one in May for my duty on Sunday.

One downside is that I'll be doing duty consecutively... Do tomorrow then rest and then take over the guy again on Sunday...

Gosh... Less than 7 months to go...

Let me off... Permanently.

Return Flight

Why "fle"?

It actually means "Fearless Little Eagle". But obviously I'm not little anymore.

Thanks, Ezer, for your suggestion. I can finally put back the "Eagle" into this name.

I can't believe how simple it was and yet I didn't think of it.

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For the gifts that I don't see in me...

Just anoint them continually...

For the change you want to cause through me...

Take my life and let it be...

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I'm flying free...

No More...

That's it. I'm not going to hold on to it anymore. It's already in His hands.

Wisdom

God, I pray that you just give me wisdom to see the obvious things which I should already know but somehow I don't.

"Faith as a mustard seed = ability to command. seed = faith released = you commanding the mountain to move = you naming the seed that you want to see a harvest in."

Thank you, Daddy for putting leaders and peers in my life that just point me back to you.

I really need Your grace even more..

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I don't know whether it's about me. I don't want to assume but it just seems so coincidental. Anyway, if it's about me I shall continue.

Honestly, I wish things didn't have to be this way.

Remember I told you that this happened before? It's not shocking to me anymore.

These things happen... I just wish I knew why.

But I guess you will not tell me either.

I just thought that you will be different.

Am I the only one who misses those times?

I don't know whether I would have done things differently back then.

I just hope that one day that little glimmer of hope would be enough to help you find your way to the One who can fill your heart.

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Remind me again that You love every one of my friends more than I ever could.

A Glimpse

Somehow I'm able to see a glimpse so clearly.

Thanks for giving me not just a vision but even a name.

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You gave me a bit of a fright and I thought that something was terribly wrong.

I'm glad to find out that that's not the case.

Somehow I know that what you said is true. I know that you will not let anything bad happen to me.

I knew it then when we were little kids and somehow I know it still.

"Isho ni kaeru."

Try...

I want to see the broken hearts finding hope in God above...

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All attempts to find the old opendiary are to no avail.

Instead I found links to even older entries and even to other blogs.

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When I think I'm already trying my best and it's not enough, I forget that You already gave Your best.

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Yup, I've done away with the tag-board because people will come and go and not even tag. Might as well get people that want to comment to use the comment option. Much more memorable that way too.

Insert Your Name and Search

I suddenly felt the urge to try and find my old Open Diary site. I completely forgot username and password. I tried the emails that I would have used at that time and it did not register. I wonder if they deleted the account due to inactivity...

I tried searching for my name in Google to see maybe I can find it.

All I found is some of my own old entries from my blogspot...

Under normal circumstances I would not reread my entries.

I can't remember blogging about everything but somehow that led me back to that series of entries...

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If I had stayed...

Would things be better than they are now?

I think things happen for a reason...

Right now, I think my reason is here.

Neither Here Nor There

Maybe this is what being in the "Woods between the Worlds" feels like.

I'm neither here nor there.

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I can't believe how absent-minded I was after the Appreciation Night.

First I alight a station too early. It's a good thing Buangkok is quite near my place and I can recognize the landscape and able to make my way home.

I found a bus stop that could lead me straight home even on such a late time. To my relief, the bus was still in service.

Then I alighted one bus stop too early. -_-"

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When I'm weak, You make me strong...

When I'm blind, You shine Your light on me...

'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability...

Lights, Camera, Action...

Mom just got herself a new Nikon DSL digital camera.

I'm taking over the Olympus mu-mini.

While she's going crazy taking random pictures with the new camera I'm contemplating on how I will be using (I dub thee) Mu-mini...

Wondering...

Although I told You not to allow it. It did.

Will You tell me why?

Ask and You Will Receive....

Roar... I hope it's settled this time. I don't want to be called back Saturday morning.

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Been reading The Chronicles of Narnia recently. It's cool how C. S. Lewis puts in truths about God into his stories. Delving into every single revelation would take more than one post but I like one particular scene in one.

"Well, I do think someone might have arranged about our meals," said Digory.

"I'm sure Aslan would have, if you'd asked him," said Fledge.

"Wouldn't he know without being asked?" said Polly.

"I've no doubt he would... But I've a sort of a idea he likes to be asked."

The same is true for Daddy. I'm sure he knows what's on our minds and our wants. He would know without being asked.

But sometimes we don't ask. We just expect Him to know and to do so without us even telling Him.

Maybe that's why a lot of relationships hit bumps; the other party expects the other party to know without having to say.

God does know without being asked... But I've sort of a idea he likes to be asked.

Because it is, after all, a relationship between you and Him.

Reminiscence...

On a temporary spur of momentum, here I go again.

On a bus ride home my colleague was just telling me a bit of his past of how he had a close female friend. He didn't believe that she could ever have romantic feelings for him and so he was comfortable around her.

After all, she was together with another guy.

Everyone around him was telling him to open his eyes and wake up. Even from his stories of how they could just tease each other and be frank with one another I could tell that perhaps she did like him. He just couldn't see it.

Because at that time he liked someone else.

I guess he feels regret now. They've drifted so far apart. Perhaps the thing he misses most is the company.

.....

I guess in a way I know how he feels.

Sometimes I feel that if I had decided to do something maybe you wouldn't have made wrong decisions. Maybe you wouldn't have been hurt.

As much as I wanted to be the one for you, I knew I was not what you were really looking for.

I wanted you to know the person who could love you greater than I ever could. I wanted you to know Jesus.

I wanted you to feel the love that He has freely given, the kind of love that lifts you up, the kind of love that gives and does not expect anything in return.

But even that seems so distant...

Working...

To my surprise, it seems blogger can now work in the office.

Cool. Means I can blog during my free time even though I signed an oath of secrecy to the armed forces.

While sms-ing one morning on my way to work, something hit me (not literally).

Why do I say, "I'm going to work. I've got work. Have a good day at work!"

It dawned on me that even in a small way, I was setting myself up to rely on my own effort. Work, work, work.

Just a simple word can make a whole lot of difference.

I've decided that I'm not "going to work" anymore - I'm going to the office.

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I'll be camping in the office today. Wheeeee!

The Reminder

Actually, about what you said, I did come across it on one of your entries when I was going through it all.

Thanks for the reminder.

"Even for an audience of one."

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Been going through some incredible changes in the past few weeks.

As was aptly put by a good friend, "It's like finding yourself with a new-born baby and you don't know what to do with it."

Although there are things that I have to give up I believe that I will not be short-changed.

It's in His will that I want to be more than anything else.

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Anyway, other than being mistaken as a canoe-ist, I've also been mistook as being from ODAC. Woohoo! There's always a first time for compliments of this nature.

I wonder whether I really look "quai". I have people I have not even properly met telling me that I look too quai to have an ear stud. Maybe I should scowl more? Always wear the Blue Steel look?

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Thanks, Abba, for reminding me yet again how much You love me.

Love Is...

I believe that God demonstrates His love towards us everyday even in the little things.

Catching the last train or bus home...

Getting to eat western food in camp...

Hearing my favourite song...

I believe that these are Daddy's little, "I love you's" to me.

"If that is the case. What about the times when even the little things don't seem to go the way we want?"

You miss the last train or bus....

You oversleep and possibly might be late...

You're caught in the rain without an umbrella...

One thing about men is that our minds are finite. Only God can see the infinite. He can see the whole picture. Things happen and we might never know why but I know that all things happen for a reason - His reason.

Even when things don't turn out the way I want it to be, His love for me has already been proven when He sent Jesus.

He gives so much love and sometimes He loves us enough to give us the privilege to love Him back.

I missed the last bus... I get to walk home with You.

I overslept... You wanted me to have the rest that I was lacking...

I am caught in the rain... You want to remind me that You are pouring your blessings and love even though I can't always see it.

Love is a relationship. It is not a one-way thing. God is love and I love it that we can love Him back.

Growing Up

It's ironic how I want to be treated as an adult and yet there are some things that I'd rather be done for me.

It's so easy to just lie down and tell my parents, "There's this 'grown-up' problem, please solve it for me."

I realize that if I want to be treated like an adult I have to change the way I see myself.

I have to start doing things without relying on my parents.

I'm certainly not there yet but I thank God for His favour and for giving me courage to even choose to take this step and even start walking on this path.

It's time to grow up.