Sunday, June 28, 2009

A Weird Dream...

Been having quite vivid dreams lately. More than usual... I did think before that it would be cool to be able to interpret dreams or have dreams that tell of the future. If God can give Joseph and Daniel gifts in the area of dreams I figure it's not impossible to receive the same gifts.

The dream is quite detailed in the people that appeared but I'm going to go straight to what really struck me the most. In my dream, this guy from JC Cluster came up to ask me whether his CGL would be angry if he got into a relationship and the funny thing was that he was holding the hands of this unknown girl and she remarked, "Why would your leader be angry? Your leader would be happy that you have such a catch."

With the words of Deacon Sam from History Maker 2009 Men's Meeting about the importance of a man's call over "the woman", I knew why this JC guy would even ask me that question. Somehow I took him aside and told him that if he himself has to ask that question, it means that he himself knows inside that it is not his season to be in a relationship.

Then I told him, "You'll know that it is your season when you can be open about it to your leader and you have your leader's blessing."

I woke up after that.

Probably my subconscious is trying to tell me something...

The other day I had a chance to sit down with someone who has been serving in the ministry for some time and is now happily married. He shared with me a bit about his journey and I suspect that's how I even thought of saying that in my dream. He shared about a time when it was God's time for him, he felt God telling him so and he just began to feel so much favour in His life and eventually he met the woman that is now his wife. Anyway, the rest of it is not my story to share so I shall not talk about it further but I'm just so amazed that I would have that "qara" moment to hear the journey of someone with the benefit of experience.

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A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9

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I think I want to watch "The Answer Man".




Monday, June 22, 2009

I don't know where to start...

I don't even know where to begin talking about the camp. I still have not fully penned down what I received from serving in DARE to Believe Camp and then there's History Maker 2009. I have to thank my bestfriend for suggesting that I copy and paste what I shared with him over msn and that's what I'm going to do, filtered out the stuff that's best left within the trinity (we can start thinking of a more appropriate name). So here are some excerpts that came out while talking about other stuff.

... like i feel the past two weeks got so much stuff i can blog about and so much that i don't know how to start.

i guess one thing that i can really say impacted me in this camp is about believing that I am where God wants me to be in this season of my life.

i kinda questioned a few times whether i was really called to serve in the leadership. and many times i would self encourage myself that it is exactly in my disqualification that God can use me. but the question kept coming back.

in this camp i feel like the question was answered once and for all.

it came to the point when i just told God that if He put me here then He'll put the gifts that are necessary and i'm not going to question anymore. and it was so sweet of Him to confirm that in the following session where Pastor shared about a similar prayer by Moses. (Exodus 33:13-17)

what's next is to continue serving knowing that if there's a word that needs to be said, He'll put the words in my mouth and if there's anywhere i need to go, He will direct my steps. really just learning to rely on Him.

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Pastor Benjamin shared something that really encouraged me...

he asked Pastor Prince about purpose and calling and Pastor Prince told him that actually, he does not know his exact calling too.

he is just living one day at a time. being led a day at a time. Pastor Benjamin shared that our purpose and calling is not a destination but a journey.

yeah. haha. i used to think that the "man God wants me to be" is this state that i'll only reach after some time when i'm older but actually in my day to day, i can live out that because for today, I can be who God wants me to be today.

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John Gabriel says: ... Pastor mentioned something about marrying within the tribe.

Oinkypig - Consistent living! says: HAHA

Oinkypig - Consistent living! says: wah lau.

Oinkypig - Consistent living! says: so i have to go back and find meh

John Gabriel says: it was so funny coz everyone was silent when he said that.

Oinkypig - Consistent living! says: so much for my purpose being overseas is to find a life partner.

John Gabriel says: and he said like, "Yes, marry within the ministry."

Oinkypig - Consistent living! says: hahaahah

John Gabriel says: haha.

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Ecclesiastes 3:15 (NLT) - What is happening now has happened before, and what will happen in the future has happened before, because God makes the same things happen over and over again.

Friday, June 12, 2009

A Reminder About Serving Reminded Through Serving

Still awake with just a few minutes of sleep this morning and a few snoozes throughout the day.

Just came back from serving in "DARE to Believe" Adventure Camp and although it was very tiring and strenuous, I really enjoyed being a part of it. I feel that having an opportunity to serve is really a privilege and it really does not feel like work at all. I remember starting out as an usher in TeenZeal/DARE and serving just felt like the natural thing to do.

Helping to facilitate a camp that has an activity intensive program, it's very easy to do things without realizing the significance of it. After a tiring first day I woke up the next day and I just had to tell God again that as a server, I want my portion from this camp, even if it was meant for the DARE youths, I refuse to believe that servers cannot receive anything. It was at that moment that God reminded me about a little journey that He took me through a few weeks back.

It was during The Zone launch in Sunday service. In order to create awareness of the coming together of the three ministries under one name, we were giving out leaflets and speaking with youths or people who have questions about the youth ministry. As I walked down the queue line and tried to initiation conversations with youths that I saw I felt very redundant and inadequate. Talking to youths that I do not know is just not my thing and it did not make a difference whether they were younger than me (may God continue to teach me not to have this fear of man). I tried to talking to this boy who answered in short quick replies as if to say, "Don't bother me, I don't want to talk to you." (On hindsight I realize that kids usually do that when they are shy and not used to being talked to.) At that time I felt a tinge of self-condemnation as I felt I was inadequate in talking with a youth and that affected me for a while as I continued to walk down the line.

I started asking God why would He even ask me to serve in the first place? Why even get me down on that day when there are more capable people who could do it. The ushers can give out the leaflets and other people can do the talking, why must I be there?

When I finally quieted down on the inside, I started thinking that it is possible for God to move in big ways even through small acts. I started to think that even if I just gave out leaflets, God can place them in the right hands. It was at that moment that I decided not to worry about whether I was redundant or not but to just to be faithful with what was in my hands. It did not matter whether I spoke with a youth and got their particulars down but I started to believe that even through just giving leaflets, God will move.

As I just decided to give out the leaflets, I was pleasantly surprised when a youth came up to me and ask me about youth ministry. As I got to know him I found out that he was actually a JC youth! Of all the people assigned there, it had to be at that time when we JC leaders were on duty that a JC youth came and I felt humbled to be used by God in that small instance. After that I felt that that journey was worth it for that one person and it just reminded me of how Jesus would go out of his way to minister even to one person.

It was that lesson that God reminded me about during the camp. We can never know the significance of the things that we did, whether it was moving heavy tables and benches or facilitating activities, or simply talking with the youths, God could use that to minister to the youths and even if only one out of all of the youths was impacted, it was all worth it.

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The camp verse and the camp name was really such an encouragement to me as it remind me again not to give up on God's Word and continue to believe until I see the complete manifestation of what I am believing for. Dare to believe that God can, because He has given us a hope that does not disappoint and a glorious inheritance and He has given us the same power that raised Jesus from the grave.

May the eyes of my understanding be enlightened...

Monday, June 08, 2009

Birthday Story

Oh, gosh. This will be quite long. Read only if you have the time.

It all started a few days before the 6th of June, probably at least two weeks before. The leaders and I had just tried in vain to find a decent cardigan to buy as an additional gift for I Reen (we decided to get her the book that she wanted to read). We were chilling outside a cafe in Bugis when we started talking about another important birthday that was coming up - Deaconess Tammie's. They asked me when it was and I kinda laughed because it was very weird having to say that her birthday was the same as mine.

However, the more important matter was figuring out what to get for Deaconess. They asked me straight what I wanted for my birthday to make the birthday preparation load easier. I did not mind as it made sure that I'll get something that I want (and I did). Sitting around in that table we suddenly had an idea, a far-fetched fancy, a long-stretched whim. With just two weeks left to the date we thought of the possibilities of making a birthday video. Someone explained that Deaconess' love language was time spent so bringing her out somewhere to chill would be good and we can show her a video as a present.

It was no normal birthday video where we would film ourselves and her friends speaking their birthday wishes and prayers over her, no, our idea was on a more ambitious scale. We were going to make a production - a production that will be forever kept in secret and only viewed internally and not even at a cluster level but only within the leadership. Personally, I have no qualms letting the cluster see it because much of my dignity and image would still be intact if it was ever circulated, plus we were disguised some-what so that helps. As a fuel to your imaginations there was a boy band imitation, a spoof of a popular TV show, a dazzling performance and self-made commercials.

Anyway, the project was completed within two separate days of filming and film editing that spanned two days (big thanks to Jimmy Boey and his amazing MacBook with iMovie) and plans were made to celebrate at Marina Barrage after Arrow Service on the 6th of June. I was used as a decoy to get Deaconess to come to Marina Barrage. They told her that it was to celebrate my birthday and they all pretended that they did not know that it was also her birthday. Also, in the planning, I was told that my birthday will be celebrated another time which I did not mind because that would mean that I would still get to celebrate even after the actual day - extended birthday celebrations.

On the 6th of June, during dinner with the CG, I had actually been secretly planning with the CG a belated birthday celebration for I Reen because the CG had not had the chance to celebrate with her. Two guys went away to get the cakes and during dinner, one of them came in with I Reen's cake. When the cake was brought in front of her, she was weirded out because she had actually been secretly planning with the CG to celebrate my birthday and she kept gesturing for the cake to be brought in front of me. It was at that point that I realized that they will be celebrating for me as well and I noticed that the other guy had not come back so I figured that there was another cake. After singing a birthday song for I Reen, a few moments later, my cake came. I really love the thought that went into it and it did not matter that I figured out what they were doing. Plus it was so cool that just that morning, I woke up to a dream that we were going to celebrate both I Reen's and my birthday. It was so cool because I dreamt that they brought a cake for I Reen and then another cake came for me just that I Reen's actual cake was white and mine was brown but in the dream I think I dreamt that I Reen's cake was brown and mine was white.

After dinner the rest of the leaders proceeded to Marina Barrage to set up while we waited for Deaconess Tammie. Her husband came to bring the few of us remaining to Marina Barrage. They had planned to celebrate at the top of the barrage and while we were walking there, Deaconess asked me when was the actual date of my birthday. It was weird because she did not know that we will be celebrating for her. I sheepishly replied that it was the 7th. When we reached the place where everyone else was, they started singing the happy birthday song for Deaconess Tammie and I think she was surprised. After they sang she asked, "What about John?" And they suddenly started singing for me as well. We each received giant cardboard birthday cards and I was a little shocked because I did not really expect to have my birthday celebrated as well...

Ok, I had a little idea because I did not think they would want to exclude my birthday and also while we were doing initial filming on the Sunday before that, I saw some of them writing on I Reen's notebook and I kinda overheard Sam asking Kelly, "Have you done John's..." she stopped herself because she did not realize that I was sitting in front of them. I just kept silent and pretended not to hear. Throughout that day I saw them taking turns to write on I Reen's notebook so I had to wonder what they were doing.

That was also the day that we surprised I Reen at Aston's. She was busily talking about something and was interrupted when we brought a cake in front of her. There was also a point when almost everyone went to the toilet and I there were just a few of us left so I asked someone to let me see I Reen's sketch on the notebook (I saw her sketching a picture of Deaconess Tammie) and the person kindly opened up the notebook directly to the sketch to prevent me from looking at the other pages. I must say the sketch is impressive and I was tempted to look back at the other pages but I did not. I did not really want to see the sketch but I wanted to see what was the reaction if I tried to see the notebook.

Also, on the way home I asked Alvin L what they were writing on I Reen's book and he just said it was some random stuff. I decided not to pursue the matter. Also, on one of the email threads, I wanted to test the response if I hinted something about what they were doing. I guessed that they were writing something but it could not be a card because there would be no need for it to be done on a sketchbook. So I sent an email saying something like it was so fun filming the video that maybe one day we all can make a video for fun where we write a story and each person will write one paragraph and another person will continue with another paragraph to come up with a totally random story. Haha.

But really, despite having an idea of it, reading the actual story that they came up with is priceless. I really love it that everyone was involved in making it. They made me read out their random story and guess who wrote which paragraph and all the nonsensical stuff I kept guessing that it was Alvin L. I should have known that he would come up with the most eloquent and bombastic paragraph which was used as the finisher.

After that it was the event that I was most excited for, the screening of our mini-production. It was 17 minutes of enjoyment and we ended off with prayers for the celebrants. Did not realize that midnight had passed and I spent the first few minutes of being 22 at Marina Barrage. Kind of magical especially with the sparklers... Of which is actually not allowed and if we want to play with them we should do it where the camera cannot see as advised by the friendly neighbourhood security guard. =D

The actual day was really awesome too but that's probably too much for one entry. Maybe next time.

DARE Adventure Camp, here I come! Get ready, kids, to be "taken care of". Muwahahahaha *choke* ahem *choke*

Saturday, June 06, 2009

My Birthday Thanks

Just 1 hour 30 minutes into my birthday, there's already so much to be thankful for.

Didn't realize that we stayed in Marina Barrage for so long but I turned 22 at the Marina Barrage! =D

First, I'd like to thank the greetings that I have received.

Thank you, JC South, for the Ice Cream Cake and the John Eldridge book. =) He's one author that I can say really caused change in my life and I can't wait to start reading it! Spot on for who ever thought of getting it for me. =)

JC Leaders, thank you for the surprise, I have some idea of how difficult it is to plan two surprise birthday celebrations without both celebrants suspecting anything. =D Thank you for the surprise story. Haha. It's so precious because it's very personal and I really love it! Was telling Alvin L. that I did think to myself that I would want to receive something personalized and there it was. Thank you for the sling bag. Just what I wanted also. =D

I realize that a lot of people are born in June... Maybe because of all the National Day Rally Speeches around August that announce all the baby bonuses...

Here's to the summer!!! =D

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Meteor

It was a magnificent sight to behold.

The gigantic flaming rock blazed through the night sky leaving behind a trail of fire. The fires lingered in the sky like a fiery imitation of the Aurora Borealis as the meteor flew past and disappeared into the horizon.

There I sat on a row-boat amidst a large body of water, in awe, that I could behold such a sight. I closed my eyes and then I woke up.

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One of the most memorable dreams I've had so far. I wonder if there's an interpretation...

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Yes, Google Alert, for the umpteenth time I know Kris Allen went to Disneyland now give me some more pertinent information!

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Tired, Touched, Transformed

Took off today to hang out with the leaders. Happily tired from today. Thanks, people, for a tiring but enjoyable time.

Today's meeting was amazing. Once again I am reminded that people that are touched by Jesus are never the same. I started encouraging myself that there is no way that I can come out of a session such as that and not be changed. Just as Pastor Lawrence shared, after David was anointed, he was no longer the boy forgotten in the field, but he was described as a mighty man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a handsome person; and the LORD was with him. (I Sam 16:18)

True transformation is really only possible by grace. The power to live a life described in Mark 16:17-18 cannot be anything of myself but only through believing the Gospel; that through Jesus' death on the cross we have received the abundance of grace and the gift of righteousness.�

In times when I am weak, I can take comfort in the fact that He gives power to the weak, and those who have no might He increases strength. (Is 40:29)