Time...

... ticks on and according to my little cow clock, its just a few minutes past midnight. (I have yet to name, thee, little white cow clock.)

I consider myself a rather disciplined person. There used to be a time when I would wake up without fail to the ring of an alarm everyday at the same time - just like clock-work. I remember Saturday mornings when I would wake up at 8 a.m. sharp even without an alarm. (Saturday morning cartoons started at 8 a.m.)

The interminable slew of days have drastically changed my sleeping habits and I have been procrastinating on having my body clock reset. Especially since I might be starting work pretty soon. The offer came from a source that I have thought off as dry. So here I go again, plunging in without knowing the full extent of what I am getting into. I have an appointment later on today to the agency to confirm things. I can only trust God that it will be well with me.

----- DISCLAIMER: The author may tend to ramble on in this entry as he has been repressing his blogging for no good reason. Skip to the end for more substantial reading. -----

I was lying on my bed one night thinking how I wish that humans did not have to sleep or at least require fewer hours of sleep. I was lying on my back and just drifting in my thoughts when I remembered that one night, a few months ago, I was in the same sleeping position but in an extremely different circumstance.

It was my first night sleeping outfield. I still remember the sensation of the rocks and the roots on my back covered only by a thin layer of groundsheet. I remember the discomfort as I tried to adjust myself to the most comfortable position with nothing as a bolster except my M16 rifle. As I lay there I reassured myself that National Service will go by quickly and that in the blink of an eye it will be over. It was then that I made a mental bookmark of that situation.

True enough, as if in the blink of an eye, I found myself looking back at that mental bookmark. Slowly, I began to drift off into sleep as I thanked God that those days are long gone.

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I find it fascinating that an inordinate amount of time could feel like a split-second when traveling the realm of dreams.

I note one example when I set my alarm at a certain time and when it went off, I adjust the alarm to ring 30 minutes later as I wanted to snooze more and just when it felt like I had dozed off for a few seconds, 30 minutes have passed. Truly fascinating.

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I have grown accustomed to it and it seems so normal that I just do not know what to do. However strong my fondness may be, I have to make a choice - one that may be painful after all this time but it has to be done.

Although I am still figuring out what exactly I want, I guess there is nothing for it but to stick to my decision and get another haircut.

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Only time can tell the story that will unfold.

----- And now for more substantial reading -----

Main Entry: substantial
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: important, ample
Synonyms: abundant, big, big-deal, bulky, consequential, considerable, durable, extraordinary, firm, generous, goodly, heavy, heavyweight, hefty, key, large, major-league, massive, material, meaningful, momentous, plentiful, principal, serious, significant, sizable, solid, sound, stable, steady, stout, strong, sturdy, superabundant, tidy, valuable, vast, weighty, well-built, worthwhile
Notes: substantial means considerable or sizeable; substantive means actual or firm
Antonyms: insignificant, little, minor, small, unimportant, unsubstantial

Main Entry: substantial
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: material, real
Synonyms: actual, card-carrying, concrete, corporeal, existent, for real, honest-to-god*, legit, objective, phenomenal, physical, positive, righteous, sensible, solid, sure enough, tangible, true, twenty-four-carat, valid, visible, weighty
Antonyms: ethereal, mental, spiritual