It's funny. I used to be able to bounce back after falling and just shrug it off as nothing.

I guess disappointment has finally managed to get through. I feel like staying down. It's seems so much easier to just wallow in regret and self pity. It's an excuse to not be ok.

Responsibilities can just be wavered and everyone is expected to be understanding no matter how unreasonable a situation can turn out to be. But that's taking the easy way out. It seems I have an affinity to bordering between taking the easy and cowardly way out rather than to step up and stand up for what needs to be done.

Weird as it may seem, it felt rather addictive to stay in a depressed mood. It gives one a reason to pull a long face. Am I just expected to bounce back in a snap? I finally realized how difficult it is to be back to normal after falling down so hard.

Thanks for all the encouragement. They did help. I just want to let disappointment sink in a little longer. Maybe it'll be an extra motivation.

-----

I can't do this all on my own. No, I know. I'm no superman.