Both my parents are now back home in the Philippines and will be there for close to a month, if I'm not wrong. My dad flew off a few days ago and my mom's flight was yesterday morning. I woke up at 5.30 a.m. to prepare for school and I saw her getting ready to leave the house. She had two pieces of luggage to bring, one was really huge and the other was the average luggage size. I was still groggy from just having woken up and I eyed the luggage with disdain. I was actually planning to just turn on the heater and go back to bed. Maybe get a few more minutes of sleep in, but I knew that I should not let my mom carry all that by herself. In any case, she most probably would have waked me up to ask for help so there was no point in trying to avoid it.
I use the phrase "I should not let her carry" rather than "I could not let her carry it" because that's how I honestly felt. The "right" thing to do was to help her and I "should" help; it has the idea that it was my obligation as a son. Using "could" implies that I'm some infallible saint that would go all out to help just because it would be injustice to leave her to it. English lessons aside, a part of me wanted to sink back into the bed and hope that mom would understand that I needed my sleep and maybe would be able to manage by herself.
While I was pondering my ways of escape, I was reminded of a phrase, "Love bears all things..." I knew it was somewhere in the Bible but I did not know then where it came from, but I found myself muttering this to myself, "Love bears all things, love bears all things, love bears all things." I started meditating on what these words meant to me and it showed me how a different belief or attitude could change how we carry out our actions.
On the risk of side-tracking, I would like to ask whoever happens to read this to ask yourself this question, "Do I love my parents? (You can change parents to family or to any member of your family)" Seems like a no-brainer. Seems like a redundant question. What normal child would not love their parents? What normal parent would not love their child? I am very blessed to be in a family where my parents are really supportive and have always made me feel loved, at times to the point of being smothered, and I've learned to be thankful for that. However, I am not blind to realize that the things that I have done for my parents pales in comparison to all the things that my parents have done for me.
How do I repay my parents' love for me? Not helping out with the chores at home. Avoiding conversation with them, thinking that they would not understand anyway. Making excuses or doing things grudgingly when asked to do so. It is really an unfair exchange on my end.
Thank Jesus that he is slowly growing me in this area. I do not claim to have a complete turnaround but in the past few months, I have been learning to love my parents not just in word but in action. Like I said before, any normal child would say they love their parents but how is that love demonstrated? Pastor Benjamin once shared that "Love is not love without giving." Sometimes when my parents tell me, "I love you," it has been ingrained in me since birth to reply back, "I love you too." I mean, is that not the normal reply even in a boy-girl relationship? However, I realized that it became an auto-reply message instead of something that I really meant. The holy spirit must have wanted to teach me something because I began to ask myself if I really meant it when I said, "I love you too."
I still remember a time in my TeenZeal days where Pastor Lawrence was sharing on relationships and he said this statement. He said, "Love is a decision." He was sharing in the context of boy-girl relationship but I realized that it also applies to my parents. Perhaps for parents, loving their children comes naturally, instinctively, and giving comes easily for parents. I found that for my part as a child, beyond the instinct to love them, I was not really giving. I realized that I had to decide to love my parents and when I decided on that, I found it easier to give to them.
Suddenly, with the perspective that I love my parents, helping out did not seem so troublesome as before. Errands were not done grudgingly. Sharing things with them is still not as easy as I would want but it has definitely improved. I really cannot take all the credit because I know that the supply of this love is from Jesus. Loving them with my own efforts would only burn me out but when there is a constant receiving of love from Jesus, there is an overflow of love to give.
Going back to yesterday morning, remembering all that I have been receiving, I decided to get my butt off the couch and help my mom without her having to ask me yet. The funny things is that when I went down with her to the lobby and before she boarded the taxi, I had the boldness to pray a short prayer for her. Usually when my parents ask me to pray for something I would feel so awkward in front of them and would rather they pray instead. I believe that little extra act of love came from Jesus.
When I got back and meditated again on the phrase, "Love bears all things," I realize that I not only had a metaphorical understanding that love would cause us to bear things for people we love, I also literally had to "bear" my mom's luggage! The things we do for love. =)
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