Free Like Eagles

You probably experienced "Inception" without even knowing it.

2011-01-19T18:20:00.000+08:00

Hello, to you, nobody in particular.

So if you have not already watched the movie "Inception" you are missing out on one good movie and I would go so far as to guess that you are probably caught in a dream within a dream that is within a dream and it's time to wake up and watch the movie.

Personally, there are two concepts in the movie that I find really interesting. First, is the idea of being completely sentient and "conscious" in a dream. I don't know if people can actually be dreaming and have a consciousness that is not separate from their "awake"-self. Usually when I dream, some of my awake-memories become part of the consciousness of my dream-self but then there are also the dream-memories. For example, if I have a particular dream where I am a superhero, I just know that I am superhero. I am aware that I can fly and I have powers because of my dream-memories. The movie presents the concept of people using technology to go inside a dream with their awake-memories intact and thus are able to be in full consciousness whilst unconscious (sleeping). Paradoxical, I know. That's why it's so interesting.

Anyway, what I really wanted to talk about is the second interesting concept and that is the idea of the shared dream. Through the device they use in the movie (that thing in the briefcase), the characters enter the same dream and in essence experience a shared fantasy - a collective illusion. Everyone is aware that they are in a dream world and they undergo experiences in the dream as a collective group. They all know that the dream world is fake, but while they are in the dream, the dream becomes their reality for the time that they are in it.

In the past few months, me and some of my NTU Caregroup mates have come to the conclusion that many people go through an "Inception" experience and they might not even realize it. We believe that people often experience the second concept: Experiencing a shared imaginary reality.

You have probably experienced this. No? Ask yourself, when was the last time you experienced an imaginary "reality" with a group of other people? If you think you have never experienced such a thing, let me ask you another question. When was the last time you played a game?

One game that is trending right now for some reason that is beyond me is Monopoly Deal. Ever heard of it? Monopoly Deal is a card game and players win the game by being the first person to complete a certain number of property sets. In essence, everyone is pretending to be a wealthy person who goes around buying property. They collect imaginary rent from imaginary properties and gain imaginary moolah. They even have imaginary birthdays!

What about chess? A two-player game where the objective of each kingdom is to defeat the other kingdom by chasing the other king around a "battlefield". For the moment that the two players play the game, they experience the imaginary reality that they are the strategists of the white or black kingdoms in a never-ending battle. Ever since the game was created, the black and white armies have fought numerous battles and until now, as people continue to play the game, the battle continues. Oh, poor black and white kingdoms.

Just today, along with some of my NTU CG mates, we were owners of a deep sea treasure hunting company in a game called "Key Largo" and later on, Musketeers in the service of the King of France in a game called "Mousquetaires du Roy". On some days I am a Sheriff, Deputy, Outlaw or Renegade in the wild west themed game "BANG!".

If you ever played a board game, computer game, card game, or even some physical games (Freeze and Melt, Dog & Bone, etc.) then you have had a kind of "Inception" experience where you go through a imagined, pretend, make-believe, or what have you reality. Although the degree of a person's immersion into an imagined reality varies from game to game (or even person to person), it is the essence of experiencing a collective, imaginary reality that comes close to the "Inception" experience.

Have you had an "Inception" today?

Walk As If...

2010-10-31T17:50:00.000+08:00

Probably already a new favorite New Creation Church phrase. "Walk as if..."

Whatever you are trusting God for, if His Word says you already have it, already paid for by Jesus' finished work then walk as if you have it.

Some sharing from Pastor Joseph Prince's sermon on 31st October 2010...

Pastor Prince shared from Mark 11:24 (NKJV) - Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.

Believing comes first and then the receiving. I didn't not realize that there was such a drastic difference when put into that perspective. Personally, it was more of ask and believe and you will have. I missed out the full phrase: "believe that you receive". Even when you do not have it yet, believe that you receive.

Do not go by feelings but go by faith. Most of the time when we ask, we tend to try and feel out whether we have already received. For example, when we believe for a healing, after we pray, we start feeling our body for that pain or symptom and if the feeling is still there, it's easy to believe that we have not received. But the verse says "believe that you receive" - feelings has nothing to do with it. God lives in the realm of faith, not feelings.

Feelings are good, feelings can be enjoyed but do not be led by feelings. Go by faith.

In God's perspective, we already have what we ask because He is able to see beyond our present situation. That is why He was able to call Abraham a father of many nations because God saw him already receiving the blessing even though at that moment, Abraham and Sarah were without child.

We are in faith when we begin to see things as how God sees it. We proclaim in faith when we proclaim what is true from God's perspective, not what the natural circumstances are saying.

Walk as if you already have what you pray for because in God's eyes, you already have it.

A Walk to Remember (nothing to do with the movie of the same name, though that is one that I highly recommend watching if you have not yet done so...)

2010-10-30T20:20:00.000+08:00

At first I was thinking of making a comeback by posting up a short story that I submitted for my creative writing module but after today's Arrow Service I felt that my short story can come another time.

I guess this comes at a time when I had a bit of reflection. I thought back of when I started sharing what I received from hearing the preaching of the word, and why I stopped. The reasons are few, (laziness, FaceBook and Twitter, to name a few). But I feel that it's time to get it started again. *play Black Eyed Peas' "Let's Get It Started Now" in the background*

It's time to remind myself again that the best way to remember something, is to share it. As I share it, I will begin to walk in it, and I really want this walk of life to be one that I will enjoy and will be worth the remembering.

For any friends who happen to read this and are not familiar with my-this-kind-of blog post, I encourage you to sit in and "listen" if you have the time. If there's anything that you do not understand, feel free to ask me about it, if not in person, then through the numerous ways of communication that is now available to us. =)

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I've heard it a countless-zillion times before: Speak out what you believe and you will see what you speak out. It's not something new to many of us but as of now I realize that I have not been really applying it.

We are King-Priests, a Royal-Priesthood, these terms have become familiar that I have forgotten what it really means. It has remained as head knowledge all these years. I do not want it to be that way anymore.

TODAY IS THE DAY OF CHANGE! *speaking out as I type* I will walk in everything that Jesus' death paid for me to have, for everything that Daddy God wants me to enjoy and I know that Jesus came to give me life and life more abundantly. Even when challenges come, setbacks, disappointments, I know that He causes all of it to work together for my good. My days are going to get brighter and brighter!

(The following sharing will be a mash up of whatever I have written today from Pastor Benjamin's sharing. They may or not be verbatim. There are also Bible verse references here and there so it would be good to have your Bible, iBible, or online Bible handy to see the verses for yourself.)

It is what you speak in your life that changes it. The authority of speaking comes from remembering your identity in Christ. You are a child of God and as a child of God, you are a royal-priesthood.

Royalty. (See Ecclesiastes 8:4) Kings do not beg, they simply speak. When you speak, know that you have the whole of Heaven backing up your words. So be careful what you speak! Choose to speak good and not just refrain from speaking negatively.

Priesthood. (See Leviticus 27:11-14) In ancient times, the priest was the one who gives a value to things by their word. If they say that something is of good value, then no one can say otherwise. God's Word says that you are His beloved! Do not let possessions, circumstances, or what other people say set your value. As a priest, set and speak a value over yourself based on God's Word.

1 Peter 2:9 - "But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light"

Understand your identity and it will give you authority.

Know that your world will follow your word.

Speak into your situations, your relationships, your family, your studies, your work. As you speak, be conscious of God in your life.

What you say is very important (see James 3:2-8). In verse 8 it says that no man can tame the tongue but praise Jesus that he has already tamed it for us. Only through knowing that we have Jesus that we can begin to tame the tongue. He knows what we go through (see Hebrews 4:14-16) and can relate to what we go through and he already has a word for whatever situation we are facing, go and search it out in the Word!

"Your success and usefulness in this world will be measured by your and your tenacity to hold fast to that confession." - F.F. Bosworth

When you begin to speak out, remember that Jesus is involved. Simply by knowing that it is through Jesus' finished work that we can receive whatever we confess, that is faith. Faith cannot be apart from Jesus.

Begin to apply this practically. Come up with a list of confessions that are in line with God's Word. Write it down if you have to, speak over yourself everyday!

Believe with me that through Him, I will be able to really apply all this and if it is something that you want for your life too, then I will believe together with you. Let's learn to speak good into our lives, amen?

I Might Be Weird But...

2010-08-29T19:28:00.000+08:00

... reading the course description for one of the modules that I got has put me in a state of exticipation!

"This course introduces creative writing through the practices of writing, reading and collaborative critical response. We will work with poetry, fiction and multimedia texts (which include performance writing, graphic novels, artist books and electronic word art). Each unit is designed to foster skills in language and creativity that can be applied beyond the given genre and beyond the classroom. In particular, we will work towards greater understanding and control of language's material presence, its referential power, and the relationships between content, form and reception. Students will be introduced to a range of composition processes intended to stimulate frequent and adventurous writing, and will be encouraged to make disciplined and inventive use of the revision process. They will also develop their abilities to create and participate in a fertile writing community."

School starts tomorrow!

140 Days of Summer

2010-08-28T19:20:00.000+08:00

or "How I Spent My Summer" or "You Know What I Did Last Summer?"

The past summer holiday has really been an eventful one. There are so many things that have happened; so many events and so many memorable moments. I thought that I would want to write about it all but I'm suddenly struck with a lack of inspiration (lack of determination, actually). I'll probably get around to it within the next few weeks...

To be perfectly honest, I just thought it would be fun to think of an interesting title to a post marking the end of my first ever summer break from university. I purposely aimed to make indirect allusions to movies and television with those titles. (I wonder if anyone would be able to point them all out...)

Thanks to the inaugural Youth Olympic Games held at my school for extending our summer holidays, at the expense of a shorter Christmas break.

I'm not complaining since I have decided to create my own "holiday" by aiming for a 4-day weekend for the next semester. So far I only have lessons on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday so even though the holidays are shortened, the free days should balance that off.

Anyway, that's all for now. This should be a good enough warm up to make up for the months of inactivity. Time to squeeze these mind-grapes and get the creative juices flowing again.

Here's a nice song from the movie "Letters to God". (Embedding disabled by request...) >_<

http://youtu.be/HU9zg9rVfR0

140 Days of Summer

2010-08-28T18:59:00.000+08:00

or "How I Spent My Summer" or "You Know What I Did Last Summer?"

Being Generous = Being Gracious

2010-05-26T19:46:00.000+08:00

1 Timothy 6:17-19 (New International Version)

¹⁷Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. ¹⁸Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. ¹⁹In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

The focus of the midweek service was on living a generous life. From verse 19 it says that being generous is a way to experience "life that is truly life".

Pastor Neiman described being generous as "to be benevolent, causing things to be brought together for God's glory and for the benefit of the self and others." It goes beyond being just generous with one's finances; it includes being generous with one's time, forgiveness, attention, and other things. It is a promise in verse 19 that being generous builds up a firm foundation for the future and translates to life that is truly life.

As normal human beings, sometimes being generous is inconvenient or impossible and it is easy to look at our inadequacies. How do we look away from that? We must remember that we "belong to Christ, then [we] are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise" (Galatians 3:29). What is that promise? One part of it is in Genesis 12:2 when God tells Abraham, "I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing." God has already blessed us and we are blessed to be a blessing! We do not have to worry that we will lose out when we live generously because the promise is that there will be a firm foundation for the future. Knowing that God is a loving father, we can trust that our future is taken care of!

Throughout the sharing I just felt that generosity is actually being gracious. When a person is so full of grace, it becomes easy to be generous. Generosity is a fruit of living under grace. When we receive grace, even grace personified himself (Jesus), it becomes easy to be gracious to people and to live generously.

God's own nature is one of generosity - of graciousness. Even the popular verse shows that: "For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." In simpler terms: God loved, God gave, and we possess.

In Acts 4:32-35 it talks of the awesome magnitude of the generosity that the early church displayed (go and read it for yourself, ok?). I believe the secret is in verse 33. What made the early church so generous? I believe it was because "great grace was upon them". They had such a great revelation of Jesus; of grace, that it resulted into generosity.

As we continue to be renewed in our minds by seeing more of Jesus, this graciousness translates into generosity. It is through receiving first, the grace of God in the person of Jesus, that we become filled to be able to be give; we become are blessed to be a blessing!

New Directions (or not, just over-using the reference to Glee)

2010-05-24T15:28:00.000+08:00

Been so lazy to update, despite being in the midst of holidays.

The most new thing right now is that I have started working part-time over the holidays. Been dreading having to do a clerical job or data entry *shudders* so I was very excited when I was given the chance to try something new - service crew to a small express-type restaurant.

Really enjoying myself because it's not desk-bound and it keeps me at my toes. Sometimes I give out flyers to help advertise but I prefer to be doing the serving and stuff - right in the thick of the action.

It's not that I don't like giving out flyers but I think serving is more exciting. So the solution is to give out the flyers fast so I can get back into the action.

After two days of giving out flyers I noticed certain things that seem to make people more prone to taking the flyers. Wearing a giant sign definitely helps because it's catchy and people think it's cute (whenever someone says, "That's cute!" I just pretend it is in reference to me and not the sign. haha). Anyway, because I think it is a bit funny to wear the sign, it's easier to smile. I must say that smiling definitely helps because some people naturally smile back when they are smiled at and even if they do not take the flyer, they still smile so it is really like my job is to make people smile. =)

I used to think that it is good to smile but honestly, smiling for no reason might make people think that I am crazy so giving out flyers is a good excuse to smile. Even the degree of the smile makes a difference: Smile without teeth, smile with only the top teeth, or full smile. It is kinda fun having my aim to make people smile rather than to finish up the flyers because after a short while I find that the flyers are all finished out anyway and it feels good to make people happy in a small way.

I only learned to take down customers' orders today and it's not as easy as I thought. Made quite a blunder in writing one particular order because I put the quantity at the right side and so it was missed that the order is actually for two and not one. The customers had to wait quite long! Thank God they were very understanding... Foreigners are generally more tolerant, that's what my colleagues say. But we still have to smile nonetheless. =)

Remember, a merry heart does good like medicine and it takes fewer facial muscles to smile than to frown.

A Collection of Random Photos 2

2010-02-24T07:23:00.000+08:00

Just another set of photos...

Kite flying. Taken from Marina Barrage. =) Tell me to fly a kite. I might reply, "How high?"

Some of the photos are kind blurry but these were taken during the Dead Sea Scrolls Exhibition. I forgot that I had them on my phone for the longest time. I like the quote on faith by Martin Luther King.

Jenga! It takes many to build up and it takes only takes one to break down. I think life is similar. We can build something up so high but one mistake can cause it all to crumble. However, life is not as bleak as I put it because as one mistake can seem so significant in breaking, Jesus - The One, is much more potent in healing and he is able to hold everything together.

Cute stuffed toys at Coach Gary and Jessie's couch. Puppies! =)

This is claypot rice from somewhere in China Town. Had it with Ireen, Darren, Dave, Joel and Shawn on the eve of the eve of Chinese New Year (February 12, 2010). I don't know what the place is called but I think I remember how to go back there if I walked. We waited for 1 hour plus for it to be prepared. It was not really worth the long wait but the company more than made up for it. =)

This is from Evan's car. One day we were about to leave and he noticed these two insects latched on to his car. I think it's a rare specimen of Siamese-grasshopper-like insects. Evan thinks they are procreating. -_-"

I drew this myself with reference to another picture. This is supposed to be a chibi version of Lelouch from Code Geass.

A Song In My Head

2010-02-19T04:24:00.000+08:00

Somehow I woke up and had the chorus of this song in my head...

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J<7.n U.n.7n >.OJO. OJU< O7.U.7. J

I wish some lessons did not have to be learned through making mistakes.

Collection of Random Photos (1st out of a possible series...)

2010-02-10T16:44:00.000+08:00

As the title suggests, just a collection of some random shots I've taken with my phone over the past few months.

Baby hands are really small and cute. This reminds me of how God's hands are bigger than mine, so much more bigger than this picture. My tiny hands can only hold on to so little but His hands are much bigger and more capable.

This is a clay sculpture done by my brother for his school project. I don't think anyone can do it so easily so I'm really proud of it. I'm glad that he's found something that he loves to do and I pray that he excels at it.

Meet Russel! Such a cute dog. He's a Shih Tzu breed, if I'm not wrong. We use to breed labradors back in the Philippines. I miss having dogs around. Something that I took for granted last time...

Toy-breed dogs are cute and all but I think I prefer the average sized-ones, in the range of labradors.

Pool table at Evan's house...

Went for another food escapade today. At the hawker centre at 502 West Coast there's a hokkien mee stall that has an award from Singapore Food Map. I could not say there is much difference in the taste compared to others I have tasted before but I think the chili for this one was stronger than others I've tried.

Close up...

And for dessert... Chocolate-coated marshmallows. =D

I'm applying what I've learned in Digital Lifestyle about taking pictures off centre. Don't ask me why I put it on my laptop. I also don't know.

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Food Escapade

2010-02-09T13:42:00.000+08:00

Somewhere in the Clementi Area, there's a hawker stall called "Le Gourmet" and it is similar to Aston's or Botak Jones' in the concept.

Check out the presentation for this pumpkin soup and it comes with a biscuit-like thing that you can dip into the soup.

This is what I ordered: Salsa Grilled Fish with coleslaw and french fries. The salsa sauce was sweet.

The price range is similar to Aston's and Botak Jones' but I think the quality of the food is slightly higher, although the food portion is slightly smaller.

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You don't need to be a Puddn'head to come up with profound quotes. Here's an attempt at one:

If your punch cannot even knock out a fly, forget about picking a fight with creatures a hundred times larger.

[Love] bears all things

2010-02-05T05:32:00.000+08:00

In the New King James version, 1 Corinthians 13:7 says, "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." It is rather odd if we read it straight off but a look at the preceding verses would tell us that this verse is actually talking about love so we can simply add in love into the verse (some versions do this anyway): "Love bears all things, love believes all things, love hopes all things, love endures all things."

Both my parents are now back home in the Philippines and will be there for close to a month, if I'm not wrong. My dad flew off a few days ago and my mom's flight was yesterday morning. I woke up at 5.30 a.m. to prepare for school and I saw her getting ready to leave the house. She had two pieces of luggage to bring, one was really huge and the other was the average luggage size. I was still groggy from just having woken up and I eyed the luggage with disdain. I was actually planning to just turn on the heater and go back to bed. Maybe get a few more minutes of sleep in, but I knew that I should not let my mom carry all that by herself. In any case, she most probably would have waked me up to ask for help so there was no point in trying to avoid it.

I use the phrase "I should not let her carry" rather than "I could not let her carry it" because that's how I honestly felt. The "right" thing to do was to help her and I "should" help; it has the idea that it was my obligation as a son. Using "could" implies that I'm some infallible saint that would go all out to help just because it would be injustice to leave her to it. English lessons aside, a part of me wanted to sink back into the bed and hope that mom would understand that I needed my sleep and maybe would be able to manage by herself.

While I was pondering my ways of escape, I was reminded of a phrase, "Love bears all things..." I knew it was somewhere in the Bible but I did not know then where it came from, but I found myself muttering this to myself, "Love bears all things, love bears all things, love bears all things." I started meditating on what these words meant to me and it showed me how a different belief or attitude could change how we carry out our actions.

On the risk of side-tracking, I would like to ask whoever happens to read this to ask yourself this question, "Do I love my parents? (You can change parents to family or to any member of your family)" Seems like a no-brainer. Seems like a redundant question. What normal child would not love their parents? What normal parent would not love their child? I am very blessed to be in a family where my parents are really supportive and have always made me feel loved, at times to the point of being smothered, and I've learned to be thankful for that. However, I am not blind to realize that the things that I have done for my parents pales in comparison to all the things that my parents have done for me.

How do I repay my parents' love for me? Not helping out with the chores at home. Avoiding conversation with them, thinking that they would not understand anyway. Making excuses or doing things grudgingly when asked to do so. It is really an unfair exchange on my end.

Thank Jesus that he is slowly growing me in this area. I do not claim to have a complete turnaround but in the past few months, I have been learning to love my parents not just in word but in action. Like I said before, any normal child would say they love their parents but how is that love demonstrated? Pastor Benjamin once shared that "Love is not love without giving." Sometimes when my parents tell me, "I love you," it has been ingrained in me since birth to reply back, "I love you too." I mean, is that not the normal reply even in a boy-girl relationship? However, I realized that it became an auto-reply message instead of something that I really meant. The holy spirit must have wanted to teach me something because I began to ask myself if I really meant it when I said, "I love you too."

I still remember a time in my TeenZeal days where Pastor Lawrence was sharing on relationships and he said this statement. He said, "Love is a decision." He was sharing in the context of boy-girl relationship but I realized that it also applies to my parents. Perhaps for parents, loving their children comes naturally, instinctively, and giving comes easily for parents. I found that for my part as a child, beyond the instinct to love them, I was not really giving. I realized that I had to decide to love my parents and when I decided on that, I found it easier to give to them.

Suddenly, with the perspective that I love my parents, helping out did not seem so troublesome as before. Errands were not done grudgingly. Sharing things with them is still not as easy as I would want but it has definitely improved. I really cannot take all the credit because I know that the supply of this love is from Jesus. Loving them with my own efforts would only burn me out but when there is a constant receiving of love from Jesus, there is an overflow of love to give.

Going back to yesterday morning, remembering all that I have been receiving, I decided to get my butt off the couch and help my mom without her having to ask me yet. The funny things is that when I went down with her to the lobby and before she boarded the taxi, I had the boldness to pray a short prayer for her. Usually when my parents ask me to pray for something I would feel so awkward in front of them and would rather they pray instead. I believe that little extra act of love came from Jesus.

When I got back and meditated again on the phrase, "Love bears all things," I realize that I not only had a metaphorical understanding that love would cause us to bear things for people we love, I also literally had to "bear" my mom's luggage! The things we do for love. =)

SMSYO

2010-01-27T10:30:00.001+08:00

Twitter and Facebook SMS Updates

How well do you know important people in the history of Singapore?

2010-01-19T13:12:00.000+08:00

I only recognize Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew...

starting from the left:

1. Lee Kuan Yew

2. ?

3. ?

4. ?

5. ?

6. ?

Can any true blue Singaporean help me with this?

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Had some difficulty sleeping last night thinking about so many things. I wondered whether Jesus really went through such pressures and feelings and the words of this verse was brought to my remembrance...

Hebrews 4:15 (NLT)

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.

Still took me a while to be able to sleep after that...

And I felt so encouraged when I woke up to see that today's daily devotion talks about this verse. =)

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The Funny Professor

2010-01-11T18:56:00.000+08:00

For the introductory lecture to a module that is mainly about gadgets and how they work, the Professor was absolutely hilarious.

He started talking about transistors so he asked if we know what a transistor is. Typically, everyone was quiet, even those who knew the answer (assuming that there are people who know). He asked someone in the front row and I think she did not want to be embarrassed so she said yes so he asked how many legs does a transistor have. She could not answer so obviously she does not know what a transistor is. (Are there any engineers out there who know the answer? Oinky, you know the answer?)

He actually gave the answer and that it has three legs and he talked about "sah-kah".

Prof: You all know what is sah-kah?

He asked a guy in front if he knew the answer but he didn't.

Prof: You must be from China, right? Since you don't know what is sah-kah. It's a hokkien term for busybody (now I looked this up and I think he got this wrong). You know why busybody? Because got an extra leg to move around that's why sah-kah.

It turned out that the guy is from Myanmar "that's why [he] dunno what is sah-kah".

After a while he was talking about some calculation thing and asked if anyone know how big is a terrabite and if I remember correctly it is 10 to the power of 12 and he was asking about some other calculation thing which I cannot remember and I was wondering why no one dared to answer him (I have this impression that most Singaporeans are very good with mathematics, I was obviously not even going to try to do a mental calculation). He was trying to get people to answer so he offered to give a battery to anyone who could give him the right answer. (He really raised up a battery that he found lying around on the table and I know it was not planned because I noticed him looking around the table for any random object. It's just so funny because it's actually quite an apt "prize" to give considering the nature of the module.)

His iPhone also rang during the lecture. The first time he just looked at it and probably rejected the call. It rang a second time...

Prof: Sorry ah, let me put it to silent mode. *fiddles with the iPhone for a while* Ah, nevermind, I dunno how. Too complicated. (Oh, the irony.)

It rang a third time and he decided to answer it and everyone laughed when he did.

Prof: Hello? Oh, I'm in a lecture now. Can I call you back later? *he ended the call and put the iPhone back in his pocket* It was my secretary.

At this point someone thought it would be funny to whistle at what he said, you know, that kind of whistle that one would do when they see something beautiful. Everyone laughed and the professor replied sarcastically yet with a straight face, "Wait until you see her!"

Man, too bad this particular professor was only doing the introductory lecture so it will be some time before he comes back to take the lectures.

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Ended up registering for 6 modules this semester... I was a bit intimidated initially because I kept thinking that it would be too much for me... Then I realized that I was looking to myself and I forgot that I don't have to rely on my own self-efforts; I had to remind myself that I can do all things to Christ. =)

It's going to be an awesome 2nd semester!!!

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And now for a fix of GLEE!!!

Taxi Ride

2010-01-10T18:01:00.001+08:00

Probably had the most enjoyable cab ride ever.

The driver kept telling funny stories of incidents that he came across or his friends came across.

He said that during the 7th Month (time of the ghost festival, i think) he picked up this couple, an old man and a young woman and they wanted to go Yishun. He agreed to pick them up even though it was quite late in the night as he stayed in Yishun and was planning to knock off anyway but when they reached the destination at Yishun, only the woman alighted and the old man said that he wanted to go Lim Chu Kang and he said that he felt quite happy because form Yishun to Lim Chu Kang plus midnight rates it would mean that he would earn a lot so he did not mind going all the way there.

When he reached the area he noticed that he was passing through the cemetery and he felt a little scared. He began to wonder where the old man could be going since he was too old to be from the Army Camp and as far as the driver knows, there are no residential areas in that place. He wanted to check again with the old man but when he looked through his rearview mirror... THE OLD MAN WAS NOT THERE!!!

He felt scared but when he took a look for himself he found that the old man was at the corner sleeping. Haha. In the end the old man actually stayed in one of the farms in that area.

He also talked about some dude that wanted to go Sembawang and upon reaching, the dude told the driver to go straight. Every time the driver asked him where to go the dude just told him to go straight and he went straight until they reached the end of the road and any further straight is the sea.

The driver told the dude, "Friend, this is a dead end. Where do you want to go?"

Dude: Just go straight. (he's actually drunk so imagine a half-awake dude talking)

Driver: Go straight is the sea already.

Dude: Just go straight.

Driver: Cannot go straight already.

Dude: You got problem izzit? Just go straight.

Driver: I got big problem because in front is water.

They ended up going straight to the police station. The police told the driver that this particular dude has been sent to the station a few times before by taxi drivers because he always ends up dumb drunk.

Ah, gosh. There were many more funny stories that he shared and I laughed until my cheeks hurt. Man, I wish there are many more taxi drivers as fun as that uncle.

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Totally GLEEK-ED out. Been listening to the songs nonstop. The remaining 9 episodes for season 1 will not be out until sometime in May!

Somehow it feels like the same feeling before the first day of the first semester... Excited!!!

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Anything that is of worth is worth giving into His most capable hands.

Let not your heart be troubled.

Taxi Ride

2010-01-10T18:01:00.000+08:00

Probably had the most enjoyable cab ride ever.

The driver kept telling funny stories of incidents that he came across or his friends came across.

He felt scared but when he took a look for himself he found that the old man was at the corner sleeping. Haha. In the end the old man actually stayed in one of the farms in that area.

The driver told the dude, "Friend, this is a dead end. Where do you want to go?"

Dude: Just go straight. (he's actually drunk so imagine a half-awake dude talking)

Driver: Go straight is the sea already.

Dude: Just go straight.

Driver: Cannot go straight already.

Dude: You got problem izzit? Just go straight.

Driver: I got big problem because in front is water.

Ah, gosh. There were many more funny stories that he shared and I laughed until my cheeks hurt. Man, I wish there are many more taxi drivers as fun as that uncle.

-----

Totally GLEEK-ED out. Been listening to the songs nonstop. The remaining 9 episodes for season 1 will not be out until sometime in May!

Somehow it feels like the same feeling before the first day of the first semester... Excited!!!

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Anything that is of worth is worth giving into His most capable hands.

Let not your heart be troubled.

Night Ride(r)

2010-01-08T20:49:00.000+08:00

Somehow before even reaching the MRT station I felt that I was going to be taking the Night Rider bus service, but rather than a feeling of despair at the thought of a longer travel time home I just felt that I could spend the time with God.

True enough, the journey felt really pleasant, and while just praying in tongues and talking to Him I felt something change in my heart and in my mind.

Whatever You changed in this journey,

let Your grace make it last.

Whatever You have planted,

You cause it to grow.

You took me on a longer route

to bring me closer to You.

Right now, more than ever, I am looking forward to the rest of the 356 days more to come in this year.

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Can't find a decent enough video for this song for when it was performed on the show (Glee). =/

Invictus (Unconquerable)

2010-01-08T07:32:00.000+08:00

Titled after a poem of the same name, it's no wonder that the movie Invictus highlights the role of literature to inspire and to influence man for the better.

Even the background for when the poem was written is inspiring.

The poem was written by William Ernest Henley. "At the age of 12, Henley became a victim of tuberculosis of the bone. A few years later the disease progressed to his foot, and physicians announced that the only way to save his life was to amputate directly below the knee. In 1867 he would successfully pass the Oxford local examination as a senior student. In 1875 he wrote the "Invictus" poem from a hospital bed. Despite his disability, he survived with one foot intact and led an active life until the age of 53.

Really inspiring stuff and so is the movie.

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Now I remember why both these songs pop into my head now and then nowadays... Hady's I'll Never Leave and the cover of Kings of Leon - Use Somebody... Heard these songs for the first time when I watched the finals of Singapore Idol.

Anyway, came across this nice song from the movie:

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I've forgotten what's it like.

010110

2010-01-01T20:18:00.000+08:00

Wow. I was just thinking that the first THree (emphasize the TH because it's pronounced that way) days of 2010 for is going to be one where there is praise and worship to Jesus. After today's concert (or more accurately, yesterday, because it's already Saturday), there's Arrow Service and then Sunday Service!

I did not know that 010110 was the name of the concert held by Revolution Band, with Quiver as guest performers, but anyway, I am glad that I went. I enjoyed the songs and the time of praise and worship. It's really an awesome start to 2010.

At the start of the praise and worship session, Edwin said something that really struck me. He said something like all our "baggages" are left at the door and we do not have to bring with us as we enter into a time of just worshipping Jesus. That's not what he said verbatim but after he said that I just sensed a voice inside telling me that all the things that have stuck with me in 2009, every "baggage" that I have, I do not have to bring it with me to 2010. Whatever care or worry that I have, I can leave it in 2009. At that point in time, I was so glad that I get to spend the first night of 2010 praising my Jesus.

The days ahead are only going to get brighter and brighter!

Nochebuena

2009-12-24T18:21:00.000+08:00

Nochebuena - Christmas Eve

I did not even really ask for it but it was something that I thought would be nice. I just thought how nice it would be to celebrate Christmas with my relatives and it was not even until a few weeks before Christmas that my mom told me that some of them would be flying over during Christmas time.

It's always nice to celebrate Christmas with the family especially because there's justification in having Nochebuena Feast. My mom and aunt have been in the kitchen the whole day, the feast is already spread and we're all waiting for the 25th to arrive.

I can't wait to dig into the delicious food!

Have a Blessed Merry Christmas, everybody! =D

A Nice Korean Song

2009-12-23T07:39:00.000+08:00

Came across this from the movie "My Sassy Girl". It's a nice romantic comedy.

Where Do I Start?

2009-12-20T05:44:00.000+08:00

In just a span of a few months, so many things have happened and I don't even know what I want to talk about. All I know is that it's been one heaven of a journey and I'm looking forward to 2010.

Even though there's so many things to write about, I don't know how to start or what exactly is my point in typing this, but one thing that I do know is that GOD IS GOOD!

For now, that's the only thing that is clear... The year of free favors is not over yet!

Tiny Little Hands

2009-11-02T12:38:00.000+08:00

The little baby boy clasped my finger with his tiny little hands.

With all his tiny strength he held on. I was amused and in awe at the tiny little fingers. They were so small, so cute and so fragile. After a while, he finally let go.

As I think about it, I realize that I too have things I hold on to with my tiny little hands. I clasp onto them with all my tiny strength and forget that there are hands that are much bigger and more capable of holding on to it all for me.

It is not easy but

I let go -

not into nothingness, but into His capable hands.

My hands are not big enough.

His hands are bigger than my mine, stronger than mine, more capable than mine.

Letting go...

Letting go.

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I am learning little by little that the right answers do not avail much unless they become a personal revelation.

All the right answers are there and they are so easy to give to other people but knowing is nothing unless it is an experiential knowing.

Something I Want to Remind Myself.

2009-10-28T09:37:00.000+08:00

Just want to remind myself of this again. There are times when I fear that I do not know what to do or would not be able to do what I am supposed to. Although the fear does not consume or paralyze me it still has a way of coming back in the form of worries.

All I can do is cast all these cares to Him and every time they come back, I take that time to remind myself that He's already taking care of it for me.

I'm glad that I can believe His word for it.

Thanks goes to Clarice for reminding me of this from Joshua 1:9

"... Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

If He's got my back then even my mistakes will work out for my good. I have nothing to fear.

An Attempt at Sonnet (Dedicated to my Dad)

2009-10-22T21:37:00.000+08:00

There are many things about you that I'm thankful for,

The many things, great and small, that you go through,

You give so much even when I do not ask for more,

Do things thinking it's simple but actually has much ado.

When I was much smaller, we would snuggle in our bed,

I would lie there and you would then sing me a lullaby,

It felt so comforting, as I rested my weary little head,

And soon I grew out of that as time passed by.

From you I've learned many things needful for a man,

You taught me how to cycle, to fight, to play the guitar,

You have always encouraged me to do the best I can,

And you gave me something that nothing is on par,

You gave me the best gift, the gift of knowing Jesus,

And from then my life was never the same thus.

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

I LOVE YOU!

2009-10-20T21:29:00.000+08:00

I am not fully able to express my love for you,

Love is not easily described in mere words,

Often, actions are not enough to do so but

Very blessed am I, to have you in my life,

Each time I remember that, I thank God.

You are the first love of my life,

On longing for you I shed my first baby tears, and

Until I find "the one", you'll always be my first lady.

Happy Birthday, Ma! May your youth continue to be renewed like the eagle's and thank you for being such an awesome mom.

I LOVE YOU!

Casting Cares

2009-10-11T05:53:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I had the chance to be involved in the Arrow Varsity Cluster CIP event which was to bring students from a primary school to Sentosa. The plan was to bring them to Underwater World and to watch the show at the Dolphin Lagoon.

On the briefing notes there was this one point which Weiyi, my team IC, shared on and that was the point about helping the kids to carry their belongings to make their day more enjoyable. She shared that it was like how Daddy God wants to take all our worries, cares, fears and our "baggage" because "He cares for [us]" (1 Pet. 5:7).

When I met the boy that was going to be my "buddy" for the day, I offered to carry his bag. He hesitated at first and shook his head. He was very quiet and I guess he was a little shy so he tried to reply with as little words as possible and preferred to answer with a nod or shake of the head. His reaction reminded me that sometimes we hesitate to give our cares to God and we would rather carry it ourselves. He already offered that we "cast all [our] cares on Him" (1 Pet. 5:7) but we do not often take Him up on that offer.

I was reminded of what Pastor Benjamin shared during the last Arrow Service and the Care Group message about giving our cares to God. That encounter with the boy and his bag has become a reminder to me of how much God wants to lavish His love on us and He wants to take all our heavy burdens and take care of it for us. The only thing stopping Him from doing so is when we choose to carry the weight upon ourselves. I was definitely not going to force the boy to give me his bag, but I did offer and he decided to allow me to help him.

I cannot speak for the boy but I felt that he was much happier running around without his baggage to weigh him down and seeing him so carefree made me feel good. I believe that God experiences the same feeling when we allow Him to be God and carry for us our cares.

Even though I just met the boy, because he was assigned to me, I felt a desire to take care of him. It's a very natural human instinct to take care of someone much younger and it could even be seen as obligatory but I wanted and I tried to make his day as fun as possible for him. How much more for God who loves us so much? Who thinks of us so much that if we were to number the thoughts He has towards us, "they would outnumber the grains of sand" (Ps 139:18). And each of those thoughts are "thoughts of peace not of evil, to give [me] a future and a hope" (Jer 29:11). He wants us to experience a fulfilling life and life more abundantly!

If He cares for me so much then I want to allow Him to carry every single care that I have. Even if they may try to come back when I have already cast them to Him, I want to keep on casting and casting and casting and I know that soon enough, that care will be taken care of.

Pre- and Post-baptism Thoughts

2009-10-05T03:20:00.000+08:00

Some time prior to Baptism I started thinking to myself: What if after going through it, I don't feel different or what if after going through it, nothing changes? I did not want the whole experience to be just that - an experience.

As I sat there thinking, I felt God impress upon my spirit these thoughts encouragements: For any change that is to come, it would not be by my own attempts to change because I've tried to change through will-power and it does not last long. Any change to come will be a fruit of the spirit. It would only be through His grace that I can change and no amount of will-power can cause an effective, definitive change. I rested in the assurance that the heart transformation that I desired was not something dependent on my own actions but it is something that the Holy Spirit will manifest in my life.

Even as I type this I realize how effortless the change is going to be because even now, just day two after getting baptized, I personally see some changes in my personal life, in my desires, in my way of thinking. Slowly but surely, the work that He has begun is progressing with a different life. It's really inexplainable.

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"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." 2 Corinthians 5:1

Baptism Day

2009-10-03T19:34:00.000+08:00

Azriel. It means "God is my help". It's a personal reminder to me that in everything I do, God is my help. I've always been the kind of person who will only remember that I can ask for God's help when I'm at a dead end or I do not know what to do next. So it's a reminder that even before I undertake any task or for any situation in my life, I know that God is my help. It's an additional name that I put on my baptism certificate. So it should be: John Gabriel Azriel Cruz Utanes.

According to the Jewish calendar, today's date, October 3, 2009 coincides with the Jewish festival, the Feast of Tabernacles, which also happens to be the actual date that Jesus was born. I believe everyone who was baptized today felt a special sense of awe and humility to find out that the day we are "resurrected" is the day that grace-personified himself was born.

When we got back to Suntec after the baptism we decided to go for a swim. =D Haven't had a chance to swim for a while now and my legs felt like jelly after swimming from one end of the pool to the other. Really enjoyed myself today. =D

I felt today's message was very amazing. Pastor Benjamin preached on victory, which is manifested when we cast our cares to God. I feel there's a special anointing as today is the day that victory-personified himself was born.

I kind of felt self-conscious towards the end of the praise and worship because I was somewhere near the front and after a session of ministering I understand why people would be hesitant to come back to the front for the praise songs and I felt weird being so "exposed" at the front until this thought came to me: Why think about what people might say? If they're busy looking at me then that means they're too busy to look at God. That just reminded me again that praise and worship is a personal time between God and me and it really does not matter what people think - just as long as I'm not distracting to other people.

I'm considering utilizing the nearby Sports Centre to have personal swimming sessions. After today's mini-session I felt that it's actually good exercise. Maybe Fridays will be my designated swimming day?

I came across this video of a nice song after a friend posted it on facebook. I think it's really nice, but I think the original version isn't.

Movie Recommendations

2009-09-29T08:24:00.000+08:00

Found this trailer for a movie that would probably only be interesting to video gamers. Pay special attention to the release date!

That aside, here are two really nice movies that I got to watch recently.

The first one is a Korean movie, don't let the name turn you off, it's original title is "Speedy Scandal" but was released here as "Scandal Makers", but it's really a heart-warming movie.

Synopsis: NAM Hyun-soo (CHA Tae-Hyun) is a former teen idol turned radio DJ. Lifes wonderful for the swinging bachelor he lives in a posh apartment and has no problems with the ladies. At work, ratings are on the rise because a young unmarried mother willing shares her story, of her search for her long-lost father with his listeners.

Before you can even say scandalicious, the young girl along with her little son, turns up at his front door claiming to be his daughter (and grandson)! Is this true or is she just a crazed stalker? Regardless, the vain and self-indulgent DJ Nam has to use all means to keep this under wraps or his celebrity image is finished!

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Next one is a movie called "Fireproof". A lot of things spoke to me in the movie despite the emphasis on self-effort, but it's really an inspiring film and there are a lot of things to glean from it. Makes me think how much more meaningful it would be to have a Christian film that is inspired from the Gospel and grace...

Synopsis:

A heroic fireman locked in a failing marriage accepts his father's challenge to take part in a 40-day experiment designed to teach both husband and wife the true meaning of commitment in this faith-based marriage drama starring Kirk Cameron and Erin Bethea. When he's battling blazes, Capt. Caleb Holt (Cameron) adheres to the old firefighter's adage about never leaving your partner behind; back at home, it's an altogether different story. Caleb and his wife Catherine (Bethea) have been married for seven years, but lately arguments over career, housework, finances, and outside interests have driven the once-happy couple hopelessly apart. Just as Caleb and Catherine prepare to officially dissolve their marriage, Caleb's father John (Harris Malcolm) presents his son with a most unusual challenge: commit to a 40-day experiment called "The Love Dare," and take one last shot at saving his marriage. While at first Caleb agrees to take a chance on "The Love Dare," the discovery that it's closely tied in with his parent's newfound faith causes him to momentarily reconsider. Still, Caleb carries on with the experiment despite being constantly rejected by his skeptical, embittered wife. When Caleb asks his father how he can be expected to love someone who refuses to give him a fair chance, John tells his son that this is precisely the same love that God shows for humankind. Now, with a little help from above, the man who makes headlines for saving lives will fight to be a hero to the one person who matters most -- his wife. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

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In places where the other is not there... How can we understand each other? We searched for the answer. We didn't want to make excuses for things we couldn't understand. And once again, we have lost something.

An Odd Piece

2009-09-14T17:16:00.000+08:00

Look at this piece of just a few words. See if you can find any thing that is odd. No, it's not void of "E's", as you can see. It is not in old tongue either (though to speak as such can be quite fun). There is not a thing wrong here, per se, but these few words are not quite up to the norm of when we write. We just tried our hand on this style in class and I thought it was quite cool. Can you guess what it is that I do here? It is kind of fun to do this but I would not want to stick to this style. I would like to get a count of those that are able to spot what is off. If you give up, just find me and I will tell you face to face. I do not want to spoil this for those who want to find it out on their own. For those who know it, please do not post the key to this here. Have fun!

I should get back to my books...

A Reason to Set Sail

2009-09-09T07:20:00.000+08:00

As I set out to brave the waters, navigating from the island to the archipelago I ask myself why venture into the unfamiliar waters when it is much more convenient to remain on the island.

There is enough provision and enough amusement and to remain is rather comfortable.

Yet even with questions I press on in my temporary craft, probably to prove the adage that, "No man is an island". Somehow the reason does not satisfy.

Satisfy. Quite truly I am satisfied enough but I realize that the Carpenter who made my vessel wants me to have more than I can ever ask, think or imagine.

The journey then is not to seek out adventure and camaraderie for their own sake but in doing so I am finding the treasures that He left behind and to know more of Him because He sailed through the same waters, even stormy ones, and was always above it all.

In that place is not merely a cluster of islands but also a cluster of fellow voyagers sailing towards one common destination. The voyage is much better enjoyed in convoy, where there is protection.

I look up and look up at the mast and the sail on as the winds of faith continue to blow.

9th Second, 9th Hour, 9th Day, 9th Month, 9th Year

2009-09-09T05:09:00.000+08:00

For a time that only happens once in a thousand years...

I was contemplating on what could I post on this rather historic moment.

I just feel it is apt to tell of another historic moment. It was a time when time itself split in two and countless lives are forever changed.

Before Christ and Anno Domini...

A baby was born, destined to die, but his death delivered the greatest victory and the ultimate salvation of man.

He came so that we might live life to the fullest, to live life more abundantly (John 10:10). It is not a call to go wild and be extravagant but it is a call to enjoy every blessing that his death availed us to.

A Plurality of Worlds

2009-09-02T20:12:00.000+08:00

Excerpts from C.S. Lewis' "Miracles".

"The Supernaturalist believes that one Thing exists on its own and has produced the framework of space and time and the procession of systematically connected events which fill them. This framework, and this filling, he calls Nature. It may, or may not, be the only reality which the one Primary Thing has produced. There might be other systems in addition to the one we call Nature.

In that sense there might be several 'Natures'. This conception must be kept quite distinct from what is commonly called 'plurality of worlds' - i.e. different solar systems or different galaxies, 'island universes' existing in widely separated parts of a single space and time. These, however remote, would be parts of the same Nature as our own sun: it and they would be interlocked by being in relations to one another. spatial and temporal relations and casual relations as well. And it is just this reciprocal interlocking within a system which makes it what we call a Nature.

Other Natures might not be spatio-temporal at all: or, if any of them were, their space and time would have no spatial or temporal relation to ours. It is just this discontinuity, this failure of interlocking, which would justify us in calling them different Natures."

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Why do I choose to put this excerpt here? I am just amazed at the idea of "Other Natures" and somehow I feel inspired by this idea knowing that I do not have to restrict myself and just allow this God-given imagination to tell stories that in essence come from Him anyway.

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"This does not mean that there would be absolutely no relation between them; they would be related by their common derivation from a single Supernatural source. They would, in this respect, be like different novels by a single author; the events in one story have no relation to the events in another except that they are invented by the same author."

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JJ.]7. nOnO JO.7.U OJ7.[. UOJ7. [.[J[. 7.J7.7. nO[.r 7n7.u. [<.U.n.

My Attempts At Free-Writing (Well, kinda because they do go through some editing on my part.)

2009-08-29T19:25:00.000+08:00

Just some short excerpts that I want to put down "in stone". Rather scared to "etch" these here but I figure it would help me improve even if I receive comments on them. Constructive comments would be appreciated. =)

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Take a stroll and let the words flow like an endless stream of water flowing with every thought, describing every little thing in grandiose detail because in every little thing there is a speck of the miracle called life. It courses through even the most lifeless of human creations because no object is born by itself unless it is first made through injection of blood, sweat, tears or even mere human ingenuity. Maybe human inventions are one way to show the exemplification of being made in His image; all things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.

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Walk along by the river and you'll see a swirl of different individual lives, sitting on the banks of the stillness. Each eye fixed on the peaceful river as if time had stopped. For a moment, cares are forgotten as they sit there motionless, transfixed by the calm. For a moment, there are no worries, there are no cares. Just the self and the still, serene waters.

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Sometimes when I watch my parents I get mixed feelings about getting married one day.

Sometimes I think they can be quite corny and mushy when they exchange sweet nothings.

Although I think it's cheesy sometimes, I want to say out, "You guys are so sweet. I hope my marriage will be like that too."

Sometimes they get on each other's nerves and they have small quarrels. Although I think it's trivial sometimes. During times like that I feel like saying out, "You guys are SO sweet. I wonder if my marriage would be like that too."

One thing I do know is that whether they are enjoying the time with each other or quarreling with each other, the love that they share runs deep - deeper than they would want to display publicly and deeper than any petty argument could dare to break down.

They are so sweet. I pray my marriage would be somewhat like theirs too.

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As the night rolls on they continue to dance. A hundred pairs of feet moving to one groove. Hundreds of hearts harmonizing to one passion. It doesn't matter if unfamiliar eyes are staring at the sidelines. In this "stage" nothing else matters. All that is in their mind is the next step, skip or stride. The music plays on and they twirl and twist and clap and they dance the night away.

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"Any piece of writing is worth writing even for an audience of one."

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nO<< U.U.rJ. V<.r.r 7XXX

Life as I know it will never be the same... I love it!

2009-08-11T19:49:00.000+08:00

Even though we only had 1 hour of lesson today I feel quite excited about the future.

Somehow while listening during the introductory lecture I just felt good, like there's this life and peace in me that says, "mmm..." I guess it was an inward sense of being right where I am supposed to be, having the right fit. And I love it.

Had difficulty getting around but I guess it takes time to really become familiar with the campus.

Decided to take a language module and I could only choose one out of two schedules that fit into my timetable. I initially added and confirmed for the slot that starts at 9.30am on two days. I thought that maybe I'll just try coming to school earlier. After a few minutes I started regretting and was eyeing the slot for the one that starts later but it was already full.

Then I thought that I'll just try applying for that time slot also but it turned out that if it's the same module, then I can't apply for the same one with a different timing so I decided to just drop the morning slot that I got and just keep re-trying for the afternoon one.

After dropping the module that I just added a few minutes back I then thought to just shoot a quick prayer to God. I just simply asked for Him to help me get the timing that I want. I didn't think of going into specifics or even elaborating but simply just asked that.

I didn't even think of looking whether there was a change in the vacancy and I just proceeded to input the course code for the later timing and was expecting to see the "no vacancy for this course" notice and was prepared to refresh and keep trying but to my surprise and utter disbelief, the notice indicated that I got the module. I double-checked to make sure that I did not make a mistake and re-added the morning module but it really indicated that I got the afternoon timing.

Now I still do not have to come to school any later than 11.30am!

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>.nOJ. r[.J>. <.U.n.r >.JJ.7. O]7.U. nr]O

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Only one lecture tomorrow and no lesson on Thursday because there are no tutorials during the first week. Yeah! I may be excited but I still love my free time. =D

As the Night Ends, Tomorrow Brings New Beginnings

2009-08-10T18:24:00.000+08:00

Tonight is the last night of my "nomadic" lifestyle.

I'll probably not have another interim period such as this one.

I really feel like I'm going to miss it.

Onward to new territory.

After two years of not studying I feel a little bit daunted at the thought of having to face assignments, tests, exams, etc.

The only sure thing I can rely on is God's love for me. I know all will be well.

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r[.r7. J.U.O./\ J<7.U. [OO/\ 7.nr[. >.J<.X

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Somehow there seems like there's much to be said...

But to every thing there is a season and a time...

for every purpose under Heaven...

Sleep now and rest, young one, for tomorrow is a brand new day...

And with each new day there's new mercies and new grace...

Rest and do not worry about tomorrow...

For tomorrow there will be sufficient grace...

Favour will surround and grace will abound...

Good night. Good night.

Grace Rules and Nice Songs with Horrible Lyrics

2009-08-05T00:53:00.000+08:00

Just finished reading Grace Rules by Steve McVey and it is one awesome book. Just want to type down some of the sentences that struck me. There are more but I feel that I want to take special note of these few...

Abiding in Christ simply means living each moment totally depending on His life within us to cause us to be all that He has called us to be and to do all that He purposes for us to do. Don't make this matter of abiding complicated; it simply means that we choose to let Him do the living through us at every moment of our lives.

A man who has been broken of confidence in himself yet has absolute confidence in God is one who can be entrusted with power to perform wonders. When grace rules, miracles happen!

God has already made you holy. You don't have to try to be holy in order to become holy. You already are. We desire to live holy lives because He has made us holy.

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Each chapter has a prayer at the end and I really love this one in the third chapter which I have tweaked a little.

Dear Daddy God,

Thank You for giving me righteousness in Jesus Christ. Renew my mind so that I might begin to see myself as You see me. Transform my thoughts to conform with the truth of Your Word. I acknowledge that You have made me totally righteous in Christ. Cause me to walk in the truth of my identity even when I don't feel like a righteous person. Your life has permeated my being, Lord. By faith I believe it-make it real in my emotions in Your timing.

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I came here to find Him and yet He was already here and He ran toward me.

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I just hate it when songs with nice melodies have such absurd and unedifying lyrics. Sometimes when I sing them I realize that I should not be even saying out some of the stuff because they can be quite morbid or depressing.

Sadly, that is the case for the nice song "Fall For You" by Secondhand Serenade. At the expense of sounding cheesy or even possibly incomprehensible I have taken liberties with the original lyrics and changed them to my own pleasure...

Fall for You (JG's lyrics)

Best thing about tonight is it's You I'm finding

I've come to know that you have found me long before

And now I understand there's no point trying

For you know me well right down to my core

I'll hold my breath

Because tonight will be a night

That I will fall for You over again

I'll never change my mind

I will live to see much brighter days

I know it's true

Because a friend like you is wonderful to find

You are wonderful to find

This is not what I expected

I always thought that my own strength will play a part

I thought on my own I was stronger

I may have failed, but you have loved me from the start

So I'll hold my breath

Because tonight will be a night

That I will fall for You over again

I'll never change my mind

I will live to see much brighter days

I know it's true

Because a Friend like you is wonderful to find

Wonderful to find

I'll breath in so deep

Breath you in, I'm yours to keep

I'll hold on to Your words 'cause they're not cheap

And remember you tonight while I'm asleep...

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MetalMelon suddenly still has at least an hour of power left. =)

Chapter End

2009-07-24T19:30:00.000+08:00

I did not think that it would be a little difficult leaving. Quite surprised at the responses when I left the office for the last time. I can only really say it's God's favour. I'll probably never know whether or not my time working made a difference because it really did not seem like it.

It is with a tinge of sadness that I leave and with much anticipation prepare for the new chapter ahead.

But first! It's time for an intermission! Woohoo!

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I really don't know how it became like this. In a personal epiphany I found myself wondering why I feel this way... I really don't know.......... Is it really vain to alter an unexchangeable, over-sized t-shirt? It's normal, right?

Someone tell me I'm normal in doing so.

Show Me the Busy

2009-07-22T10:28:00.000+08:00

Me to my superior: ____, is there anything I can help you with?

My superior: Oh my gosh. You're free...

Me: Yeah...

So now I'm using the paper cutter to cut out individual-binder-file-spine labels.

Feels good to be useful.

Manga Messiah

2009-07-15T12:49:00.000+08:00

Finally have the chance to blog out of the comfort of my own home. What's the use of having a laptop if I use it at home, right? Might as well just use a desktop.

I tried blogging an entry on another occasion, outside somewhere and spent an hour on it (was Facebook-ing and Gmail-ing in between) and due to some error, the multiply page closed without publishing my entry. I was so exasperated that multiply has no auto-save function.

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Anyway, I got myself the Manga Messiah book which I think is pretty cool. I picked it over a book by C.S. Lewis (I forgot the title but it's not any of the Narnia Books. It was one of his theology books and it was about miracles). When I picked up the manga I was a little skeptical because I thought what good can come out from a manga? However, I turned to the first few pages and I just felt goosebumps reading some of them. The words taken from the Living Word and portrayed in graphic form felt so full of life. I just knew that I had to get the book.

Ultimately, it was a good decision because through it I have come to know the life of Jesus much better. Most of the stories I know of him are those told during Sunday School and in some television shows or movies and I was slightly aghast at myself that I actually know so little of Jesus' life.

It's surprising that there are things I thought I knew but they turned out to be assumptions. As an example, take this simple one question test with me.

Time yourself and be honest about this and you might possibly have a shock yourself.

Within 4 seconds, name 4 of the disciples that were chosen as apostles. Ready GO!

....

If you answered Matthew, Mark, Luke and John you would have been WRONG!

Out of these four, only Matthew and John are apostles. If you knew that already then I applaud you but all these years I thought that Mark and Luke were part of the twelve apostles.

It's things like this that now spur me to really read the story of Jesus for myself from the Word. I'm glad that the manga indicates from which passage the scenes are taken from.

It brought me to an interesting nugget in Luke 1 about grace.

In Luke 1:68-80 Zacharias, John the Baptist's father, prophesies over John's life and I am just reminded that John means "the Lord is gracious" so when he talks about his son, I took it as he is talking about the grace of God and so in that perspective, it reveals something wonderful about grace. I'll make the necessary changes for you to follow along and indicate them with [ ].

From verse 76 onwards he says, "For [grace] will go before the face of the Lord to prepare His way to give knowledge of salvation to His people by the remission of their sins..."

Telling people about the grace of God is a way that they can know about the salvation which is found in Christ. I grew up hearing of the "scare" tactic of bringing people to Jesus by telling them of the consequences of not believing but God's way is better. It is by telling people of how gracious God is that will cause them to believe.

In all my years in New Creation I've never heard anyone be threatened by the prospect of Hell but I realize that people still chose to follow Jesus and it is because they can see how good God really is. When they hear of Jesus and his goodness, his person, his sacrifice, it cannot but bring them to salvation.

Just as John the Baptist was called the greatest prophet for pointing people to Jesus, telling people of God's grace will also lead people to Jesus. When people see the super abounding favour and goodness that we receive by grace we can point them to the source of it all; Jesus.

"Not So..."

2009-07-10T09:46:00.000+08:00

I don't know why but these two words just come to my mind every now and then and I remember hearing it in my head in the voice of Pastor Judah Smith in a sermon he preached. "When God Crossed His Arms" was the title, I think.

I had a bit of time to read for myself the passage in which this appears and it is found in Genesis 48:18 and the passage tells of how Jacob blessed Joseph's sons.

Jacob was old and was about to die and Joseph brought his two sons before him. Joseph positioned Manasseh to be at Jacob's right hand and Ephraim at the left because as was the custom, the firstborn would receive the best blessings from the right hand.

There is a switch in the names being used at this part because the passage begins talking about Jacob but at the part when he is about to bless Joseph's sons, his new name, Israel, is used.

When Isreal stretched out his hands to bless them, he intentionally crossed his arms to give the first-born blessings to Ephraim, the youngest. It is at this point that Joseph says, "Not so, my father, for this one is the firstborn; put your right hand on his head."

What strikes me in this little dialogue is how Ephraim received the best blessings not by his own efforts but it was because of grace. He did not even have to try and cheat his way to get the blessing as Jacob once did but he simply received.

Even now there are a lot of things in my life that I am thankful for and when I remember these words I really agree. "Not so, Father, I do not deserve all these," but in that I am thankful that it is precisely because I did not earn the blessings that I can but simply receive it. I just put my head where His right hand is at, or more accurately I am placed at his right hand because I am in Christ and right now, Jesus Christ is seated at the Father's right hand.

It may not be so, but thank you, Father, that the best blessings are ours because of Jesus' finished work. Only believe and simply receive.

A Weird Dream...

2009-06-28T18:16:00.000+08:00

Been having quite vivid dreams lately. More than usual... I did think before that it would be cool to be able to interpret dreams or have dreams that tell of the future. If God can give Joseph and Daniel gifts in the area of dreams I figure it's not impossible to receive the same gifts.

The dream is quite detailed in the people that appeared but I'm going to go straight to what really struck me the most. In my dream, this guy from JC Cluster came up to ask me whether his CGL would be angry if he got into a relationship and the funny thing was that he was holding the hands of this unknown girl and she remarked, "Why would your leader be angry? Your leader would be happy that you have such a catch."

With the words of Deacon Sam from History Maker 2009 Men's Meeting about the importance of a man's call over "the woman", I knew why this JC guy would even ask me that question. Somehow I took him aside and told him that if he himself has to ask that question, it means that he himself knows inside that it is not his season to be in a relationship.

Then I told him, "You'll know that it is your season when you can be open about it to your leader and you have your leader's blessing."

I woke up after that.

Probably my subconscious is trying to tell me something...

The other day I had a chance to sit down with someone who has been serving in the ministry for some time and is now happily married. He shared with me a bit about his journey and I suspect that's how I even thought of saying that in my dream. He shared about a time when it was God's time for him, he felt God telling him so and he just began to feel so much favour in His life and eventually he met the woman that is now his wife. Anyway, the rest of it is not my story to share so I shall not talk about it further but I'm just so amazed that I would have that "qara" moment to hear the journey of someone with the benefit of experience.

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A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9

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I think I want to watch "The Answer Man".

I don't know where to start...

2009-06-22T19:25:00.000+08:00

I don't even know where to begin talking about the camp. I still have not fully penned down what I received from serving in DARE to Believe Camp and then there's History Maker 2009. I have to thank my bestfriend for suggesting that I copy and paste what I shared with him over msn and that's what I'm going to do, filtered out the stuff that's best left within the trinity (we can start thinking of a more appropriate name). So here are some excerpts that came out while talking about other stuff.

... like i feel the past two weeks got so much stuff i can blog about and so much that i don't know how to start.

i guess one thing that i can really say impacted me in this camp is about believing that I am where God wants me to be in this season of my life.

i kinda questioned a few times whether i was really called to serve in the leadership. and many times i would self encourage myself that it is exactly in my disqualification that God can use me. but the question kept coming back.

in this camp i feel like the question was answered once and for all.

it came to the point when i just told God that if He put me here then He'll put the gifts that are necessary and i'm not going to question anymore. and it was so sweet of Him to confirm that in the following session where Pastor shared about a similar prayer by Moses. (Exodus 33:13-17)

what's next is to continue serving knowing that if there's a word that needs to be said, He'll put the words in my mouth and if there's anywhere i need to go, He will direct my steps. really just learning to rely on Him.

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Pastor Benjamin shared something that really encouraged me...

he asked Pastor Prince about purpose and calling and Pastor Prince told him that actually, he does not know his exact calling too.

he is just living one day at a time. being led a day at a time. Pastor Benjamin shared that our purpose and calling is not a destination but a journey.

yeah. haha. i used to think that the "man God wants me to be" is this state that i'll only reach after some time when i'm older but actually in my day to day, i can live out that because for today, I can be who God wants me to be today.

----- (decided to paste most of the whole convo for this one because I think it's quite funny)

John Gabriel says: ... Pastor mentioned something about marrying within the tribe.

Oinkypig - Consistent living! says: HAHA

Oinkypig - Consistent living! says: wah lau.

Oinkypig - Consistent living! says: so i have to go back and find meh

John Gabriel says: it was so funny coz everyone was silent when he said that.

Oinkypig - Consistent living! says: so much for my purpose being overseas is to find a life partner.

John Gabriel says: and he said like, "Yes, marry within the ministry."

Oinkypig - Consistent living! says: hahaahah

John Gabriel says: haha.

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Ecclesiastes 3:15 (NLT) - What is happening now has happened before, and what will happen in the future has happened before, because God makes the same things happen over and over again.

A Reminder About Serving Reminded Through Serving

2009-06-12T19:32:00.000+08:00

Still awake with just a few minutes of sleep this morning and a few snoozes throughout the day.

Just came back from serving in "DARE to Believe" Adventure Camp and although it was very tiring and strenuous, I really enjoyed being a part of it. I feel that having an opportunity to serve is really a privilege and it really does not feel like work at all. I remember starting out as an usher in TeenZeal/DARE and serving just felt like the natural thing to do.

Helping to facilitate a camp that has an activity intensive program, it's very easy to do things without realizing the significance of it. After a tiring first day I woke up the next day and I just had to tell God again that as a server, I want my portion from this camp, even if it was meant for the DARE youths, I refuse to believe that servers cannot receive anything. It was at that moment that God reminded me about a little journey that He took me through a few weeks back.

It was during The Zone launch in Sunday service. In order to create awareness of the coming together of the three ministries under one name, we were giving out leaflets and speaking with youths or people who have questions about the youth ministry. As I walked down the queue line and tried to initiation conversations with youths that I saw I felt very redundant and inadequate. Talking to youths that I do not know is just not my thing and it did not make a difference whether they were younger than me (may God continue to teach me not to have this fear of man). I tried to talking to this boy who answered in short quick replies as if to say, "Don't bother me, I don't want to talk to you." (On hindsight I realize that kids usually do that when they are shy and not used to being talked to.) At that time I felt a tinge of self-condemnation as I felt I was inadequate in talking with a youth and that affected me for a while as I continued to walk down the line.

I started asking God why would He even ask me to serve in the first place? Why even get me down on that day when there are more capable people who could do it. The ushers can give out the leaflets and other people can do the talking, why must I be there?

When I finally quieted down on the inside, I started thinking that it is possible for God to move in big ways even through small acts. I started to think that even if I just gave out leaflets, God can place them in the right hands. It was at that moment that I decided not to worry about whether I was redundant or not but to just to be faithful with what was in my hands. It did not matter whether I spoke with a youth and got their particulars down but I started to believe that even through just giving leaflets, God will move.

As I just decided to give out the leaflets, I was pleasantly surprised when a youth came up to me and ask me about youth ministry. As I got to know him I found out that he was actually a JC youth! Of all the people assigned there, it had to be at that time when we JC leaders were on duty that a JC youth came and I felt humbled to be used by God in that small instance. After that I felt that that journey was worth it for that one person and it just reminded me of how Jesus would go out of his way to minister even to one person.

It was that lesson that God reminded me about during the camp. We can never know the significance of the things that we did, whether it was moving heavy tables and benches or facilitating activities, or simply talking with the youths, God could use that to minister to the youths and even if only one out of all of the youths was impacted, it was all worth it.

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The camp verse and the camp name was really such an encouragement to me as it remind me again not to give up on God's Word and continue to believe until I see the complete manifestation of what I am believing for. Dare to believe that God can, because He has given us a hope that does not disappoint and a glorious inheritance and He has given us the same power that raised Jesus from the grave.

May the eyes of my understanding be enlightened...

Birthday Story

2009-06-08T08:32:00.000+08:00

Oh, gosh. This will be quite long. Read only if you have the time.

It all started a few days before the 6th of June, probably at least two weeks before. The leaders and I had just tried in vain to find a decent cardigan to buy as an additional gift for I Reen (we decided to get her the book that she wanted to read). We were chilling outside a cafe in Bugis when we started talking about another important birthday that was coming up - Deaconess Tammie's. They asked me when it was and I kinda laughed because it was very weird having to say that her birthday was the same as mine.

However, the more important matter was figuring out what to get for Deaconess. They asked me straight what I wanted for my birthday to make the birthday preparation load easier. I did not mind as it made sure that I'll get something that I want (and I did). Sitting around in that table we suddenly had an idea, a far-fetched fancy, a long-stretched whim. With just two weeks left to the date we thought of the possibilities of making a birthday video. Someone explained that Deaconess' love language was time spent so bringing her out somewhere to chill would be good and we can show her a video as a present.

It was no normal birthday video where we would film ourselves and her friends speaking their birthday wishes and prayers over her, no, our idea was on a more ambitious scale. We were going to make a production - a production that will be forever kept in secret and only viewed internally and not even at a cluster level but only within the leadership. Personally, I have no qualms letting the cluster see it because much of my dignity and image would still be intact if it was ever circulated, plus we were disguised some-what so that helps. As a fuel to your imaginations there was a boy band imitation, a spoof of a popular TV show, a dazzling performance and self-made commercials.

Anyway, the project was completed within two separate days of filming and film editing that spanned two days (big thanks to Jimmy Boey and his amazing MacBook with iMovie) and plans were made to celebrate at Marina Barrage after Arrow Service on the 6th of June. I was used as a decoy to get Deaconess to come to Marina Barrage. They told her that it was to celebrate my birthday and they all pretended that they did not know that it was also her birthday. Also, in the planning, I was told that my birthday will be celebrated another time which I did not mind because that would mean that I would still get to celebrate even after the actual day - extended birthday celebrations.

On the 6th of June, during dinner with the CG, I had actually been secretly planning with the CG a belated birthday celebration for I Reen because the CG had not had the chance to celebrate with her. Two guys went away to get the cakes and during dinner, one of them came in with I Reen's cake. When the cake was brought in front of her, she was weirded out because she had actually been secretly planning with the CG to celebrate my birthday and she kept gesturing for the cake to be brought in front of me. It was at that point that I realized that they will be celebrating for me as well and I noticed that the other guy had not come back so I figured that there was another cake. After singing a birthday song for I Reen, a few moments later, my cake came. I really love the thought that went into it and it did not matter that I figured out what they were doing. Plus it was so cool that just that morning, I woke up to a dream that we were going to celebrate both I Reen's and my birthday. It was so cool because I dreamt that they brought a cake for I Reen and then another cake came for me just that I Reen's actual cake was white and mine was brown but in the dream I think I dreamt that I Reen's cake was brown and mine was white.

After dinner the rest of the leaders proceeded to Marina Barrage to set up while we waited for Deaconess Tammie. Her husband came to bring the few of us remaining to Marina Barrage. They had planned to celebrate at the top of the barrage and while we were walking there, Deaconess asked me when was the actual date of my birthday. It was weird because she did not know that we will be celebrating for her. I sheepishly replied that it was the 7th. When we reached the place where everyone else was, they started singing the happy birthday song for Deaconess Tammie and I think she was surprised. After they sang she asked, "What about John?" And they suddenly started singing for me as well. We each received giant cardboard birthday cards and I was a little shocked because I did not really expect to have my birthday celebrated as well...

Ok, I had a little idea because I did not think they would want to exclude my birthday and also while we were doing initial filming on the Sunday before that, I saw some of them writing on I Reen's notebook and I kinda overheard Sam asking Kelly, "Have you done John's..." she stopped herself because she did not realize that I was sitting in front of them. I just kept silent and pretended not to hear. Throughout that day I saw them taking turns to write on I Reen's notebook so I had to wonder what they were doing.

That was also the day that we surprised I Reen at Aston's. She was busily talking about something and was interrupted when we brought a cake in front of her. There was also a point when almost everyone went to the toilet and I there were just a few of us left so I asked someone to let me see I Reen's sketch on the notebook (I saw her sketching a picture of Deaconess Tammie) and the person kindly opened up the notebook directly to the sketch to prevent me from looking at the other pages. I must say the sketch is impressive and I was tempted to look back at the other pages but I did not. I did not really want to see the sketch but I wanted to see what was the reaction if I tried to see the notebook.

Also, on the way home I asked Alvin L what they were writing on I Reen's book and he just said it was some random stuff. I decided not to pursue the matter. Also, on one of the email threads, I wanted to test the response if I hinted something about what they were doing. I guessed that they were writing something but it could not be a card because there would be no need for it to be done on a sketchbook. So I sent an email saying something like it was so fun filming the video that maybe one day we all can make a video for fun where we write a story and each person will write one paragraph and another person will continue with another paragraph to come up with a totally random story. Haha.

But really, despite having an idea of it, reading the actual story that they came up with is priceless. I really love it that everyone was involved in making it. They made me read out their random story and guess who wrote which paragraph and all the nonsensical stuff I kept guessing that it was Alvin L. I should have known that he would come up with the most eloquent and bombastic paragraph which was used as the finisher.

After that it was the event that I was most excited for, the screening of our mini-production. It was 17 minutes of enjoyment and we ended off with prayers for the celebrants. Did not realize that midnight had passed and I spent the first few minutes of being 22 at Marina Barrage. Kind of magical especially with the sparklers... Of which is actually not allowed and if we want to play with them we should do it where the camera cannot see as advised by the friendly neighbourhood security guard. =D

The actual day was really awesome too but that's probably too much for one entry. Maybe next time.

DARE Adventure Camp, here I come! Get ready, kids, to be "taken care of". Muwahahahaha *choke* ahem *choke*

My Birthday Thanks

2009-06-06T21:41:00.000+08:00

Just 1 hour 30 minutes into my birthday, there's already so much to be thankful for.

Didn't realize that we stayed in Marina Barrage for so long but I turned 22 at the Marina Barrage! =D

First, I'd like to thank the greetings that I have received.

Thank you, JC South, for the Ice Cream Cake and the John Eldridge book. =) He's one author that I can say really caused change in my life and I can't wait to start reading it! Spot on for who ever thought of getting it for me. =)

JC Leaders, thank you for the surprise, I have some idea of how difficult it is to plan two surprise birthday celebrations without both celebrants suspecting anything. =D Thank you for the surprise story. Haha. It's so precious because it's very personal and I really love it! Was telling Alvin L. that I did think to myself that I would want to receive something personalized and there it was. Thank you for the sling bag. Just what I wanted also. =D

I realize that a lot of people are born in June... Maybe because of all the National Day Rally Speeches around August that announce all the baby bonuses...

Here's to the summer!!! =D

Meteor

2009-06-04T09:06:00.000+08:00

It was a magnificent sight to behold.

The gigantic flaming rock blazed through the night sky leaving behind a trail of fire. The fires lingered in the sky like a fiery imitation of the Aurora Borealis as the meteor flew past and disappeared into the horizon.

There I sat on a row-boat amidst a large body of water, in awe, that I could behold such a sight. I closed my eyes and then I woke up.

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One of the most memorable dreams I've had so far. I wonder if there's an interpretation...

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Yes, Google Alert, for the umpteenth time I know Kris Allen went to Disneyland now give me some more pertinent information!

Tired, Touched, Transformed

2009-06-02T20:29:00.000+08:00

Took off today to hang out with the leaders. Happily tired from today. Thanks, people, for a tiring but enjoyable time.

Today's meeting was amazing. Once again I am reminded that people that are touched by Jesus are never the same. I started encouraging myself that there is no way that I can come out of a session such as that and not be changed. Just as Pastor Lawrence shared, after David was anointed, he was no longer the boy forgotten in the field, but he was described as a mighty man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a handsome person; and the LORD was with him. (I Sam 16:18)

True transformation is really only possible by grace. The power to live a life described in Mark 16:17-18 cannot be anything of myself but only through believing the Gospel; that through Jesus' death on the cross we have received the abundance of grace and the gift of righteousness.�

In times when I am weak, I can take comfort in the fact that He gives power to the weak, and those who have no might He increases strength. (Is 40:29)

post-PLAY (Eh, double meaning! Woohoo!)

2009-05-25T08:41:00.000+08:00

I woke up yesterday morning and panicked a little as I thought I over slept and was late for work. It took me a moment to remember that the day before was PLAY and it was awesome. I felt relieved that it was not Monday morning and I was not late.

It was, however, Sunday morning and I was serving the morning shift for Zone launch so I thought I was late for that. I was so tired from PLAY that I thought it was highly possible that I slept through my alarm. It was to my utter relief that I found out that I had woken up earlier than my alarm.

I usually get this morning-state-of-confusion when I have dreams that I remember. I think experts say that we have dreams every time we sleep but I don't remember dreaming every night and I guess I had enough stuff in my subconscious to make up elements for a vivid dream.

I really have no idea why I dreamt of two guys rollerblading and they were doing really extreme stunts.

As for the rest of the dream, it was rather hazy but I do know that in the dream, I was with a good friend so I probably woke up with a smile.

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I'm more settled now and I'm reminded that our feelings are influenced by what we believe and what we believe is our choice.

So I've chosen and I feel better. There's still a tinge inside sometimes but I'm reminded that when I hold on to what I believe, my feelings will get in line with what I am believing.

I'm just going to enjoy this stage of my life and I know that no matter what happens down the road, all will be well.

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The jig is up
The news is out
They finally found me... - Lyrics from "Renegade". Kris Allen sings this part in the duet performance with Danny Gokey. =D

The Kris Allen Album

2009-05-22T07:42:00.000+08:00

Includes the following songs (ok, it's not a real album but I made it for myself thanks to iTunes):

Remember The Time - Originally by Michael Jackson, sung during the "Michael Jackson" theme.

To Make You Feel My Love - Originally by Bob Dylan (no idea who that is), sung during the "Grand Ole Opry" theme.

How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You) - Originally by Marvin Gaye (again, no idea who that is), sung during the "Motown" theme.

Ain't No Sunshine - Originally by Bill Withers (haha. um...), sung during the "Top Downloads" theme.

All She Wants To Do Is Dance - Originally by Don Henley (I'm not even going to try anymore), sung during the "Year They Were Born" theme.

Falling Slowly - Originally by Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova (they're the ones who sung this song, obviously), sung during the "Songs from Cinema" theme.

It was from this point on that I actually started watching American Idol. =D

She Works Hard For The Money - Originally by Donna Summer, sung during the "Disco" theme.

The Way You Look Tonight - Originally by Frank Sinatra (who doesn't know him?), sung during the "Rat Pack Standards" theme. I luuuuuurrrvve this song.

Come Together - Originally by the Beatles, sung during the "Rock and Roll" theme.

Renegade (with Danny Gokey) - Originally by Styx (the what?), also during the "Rock and Roll" Theme.

Apologize - Originally by OneRepublic (yeah!), sung as Judges' Choice for him.

Heartless - Originally by Kanye West, his own choice of song.

What's Going On - Originally by Marvin Gaye (the name sounds familiar), chosen for him by AI creator, Simon Fuller.

No Boundaries - the song created especially for Kris Allen and Lambert, co-written by Kara DioGuardi.

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Even after knowing the results beforehand, I still enjoyed seeing it for myself. Woohoo! KRIS ALLEN!

Also had another shock-myself-moment when I saw myself in the mirror and remembered that I had a haircut. My parents are extremely happy with the hairdo.

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Random note: I like toe-socks. They make my toes look cute. =D

Good Thursday (spoiler warning: American Idol 2009 results in this post)

2009-05-21T09:11:00.000+08:00

I was busy doing my work (and I was not surfing FB too much) when I remembered that the American Idol 2009 winner was soon to be announced. It was a few minutes before 10am Singapore time and I started searching the web for any news about the results.

I saw a news blog about it but it ended with the statement "AND THE RESULTS RIGHT AFTER THE BREAK." Obviously it was not yet updated but when I scrolled down to the comments page, some people posted the result and to my surprise and extreme gladness they said Kris Allen had won. I almost wanted to jump out of my cubicle and scream but I did not want to celebrate prematurely. I waited a few more minutes and kept refreshing the site until it was updated and true enough, Kris Allen had won! Woohoo!

So far, my Thursday just seems different. American Idol results aside, I just felt energized to finish up my work. I'm really hoping that these last few binders are the last of it and if there are any more I don't mind finishing them up until the end of this month. I just felt glad that the work-week is almost at an end. After three nights of going out and always reaching home at 11.30pm and sleeping exactly at midnight, I am glad that tonight there is nothing to keep me from going home (except for a haircut that I'm planning to get) and I can sleep early!

I'm thankful that I don't fall asleep during work neither do I feel sleepy. Maybe FB has to be thanked for that...

Anyway, I would like to give a special thanks to that ~~pirate~~ someone who sent me the songs. I'm loving it. =D (I just wanted to use strike-through cause I haven't used it for a while.) As promised I have not sent them to anyone else. Speaking of which, Des, I hope you can come online today for you know what...

Red Shadow in the Swamp

2009-05-18T09:28:00.000+08:00

It was a rainy day, such as today (it was raining when I thought of this -_-" ), in a distant land, distant time, distant world.

It was a land where men lived amidst harsh environments and where beasts, insects and reptiles and vegetation grew to larger proportions compared to that of our own. It was a time when civilizations were small in number and much of the land was untamed. It was a world where men and women took up arms not only to defend against dangerous creatures but also to survive. Many took up the call to be a "Hunter"; to gather resources from the land or to repel any feral invader that dare to threaten the human way of life.

It is in a world such as this that this story takes place...

A young hunter was taking cover from the rain underneath a giant leaf. He crouched low as he tried to see beyond the pouring rain. He was eyeing a cave. A cave which he knew well as he had often surveyed the area for tracking his prey.

He had taken up the notice from the local guild to slay a creature that had been feeding off the cattle herds of the nearby townsfolk. Reports have indicated that it was during rainy days such as this that the creature came out to hunt. From the description given to him by the townsfolk, he knew from experience that he was up against a formidable foe. A creature that resembles a giant, featherless, headless chicken, there was no doubt, it was a khezu.

The hunter slowly inched his way toward the cave trying to make as little noise as possible. khezus are known for their excellent sense of smell and acute hearing which have been heightened by the nature that they have not been blessed with the sense of sight. However, eye-less as these creatures may be, their extraordinary sense of smell more than makes up for their seeming handicap. It is through their sense of smell that they sniff out potential prey and with their serpent-like heads they swallow any unsuspecting prey whole.

He felt his equipment one last time to make sure that he had all that he needed. His hand stayed on longer on the hilt of his long sword. For a moment, he felt reassured knowing that his trusty sword was with him. The blacksmith called it the "Blango Destroyer", which was ironic because it was created with materials obtained from the ape-like blangos and the the larger more fearsome blangonga.

The cave was illuminated from cracks in the ceiling and it was enough to light up the general area. As the hunter walked slowly deeper into the cave, all he could hear was the drops of water from the rain dripping into the cave. He came across a clearing and he saw a small lake. He ducked back into the walkway when he realized that further down by the shore of the lake, a large figure was drinking from the waters. From the its silhouette he could see a long neck stretching down to the clear waters. There was no doubt that it was the khezu.

With its mouth near the water, the khezu would not be able to smell him instantly. It was a good chance to catch the monster off guard. The hunter took a deep breath as he prepared his assault. He could have held his breath forever if it meant that he would be guaranteed survival in this hunt, but he knew that it was not only his own livelihood that hung in the balance. He exhaled and the moment his breath left his mouth he dashed out towards the unsuspecting creature.

As he neared within a few feet of the monster he reached out for his long sword that was strapped to his back and he leapt as high as he could and prepared to swing down with all his might. His sword slashed against the creature's rubbery hide and it made the creature scream a loud piercing shout. The hunter fell back and instinctively shut his eyes as his hands covered his ears to try and muffle the scream. The creature became silent after what seemed like an eternity. The hunter immediately rolled himself further away and raised his sword on guard.

It was then that he realized that he might be in more danger than he realized because as the creature walked slowly into the light, he saw that it was not the usual pale-coloured khezu but the more ferocious, blood-clad variety; the Red Khezu.

----- (to be continued... probably...) -----

On another cryptic note, I feel like I've snapped out of it for the time being... I hope it stays that way...

Much Ado About Nothing

2009-05-15T05:39:00.000+08:00

Thoroughly enjoyed Shakespeare in the Park: Much Ado About Nothing.

Shakespeare is such a brilliant playwright. Watching the play makes has sparked my curiosity in this particle genre of Shakespearean play. Shakespeare is usually known for the tragedy: Romeo and Juliet. I must admit that my expectation on Much Ado About Nothing was pretty much influenced by Shakespeare's tragedy Othello which I studied in JC (Fie on thee, vile Iago. Dost thou taintest mine expectations.) Most of the time I was expecting the play to end with a horrible and tragic twist that I forgot that Shakespearean comedy can actually end happily (totally forgot about Twelfth Night, the comedy that I studied in Secondary School).

Nevertheless, it maybe because there was a happy ending that I enjoyed the play so much. It really has sparked off my interest in Shakespeare and I'm so glad that it's related to my course of study.

I must have been so influenced by the play that I had dreams where the language was Shakespearean English (or as Alvin Lim explains, 'Modern English'). Two guys were talking in my dream and the conversation went something like this...

*1st guy walks up to 2nd guy*

1st Guy: A penny for your thoughts?
2nd Guy: Oh, but if thou only knowest mine thoughts, ye would have no need for a penny.

I can't remember who I was dreaming off but the language really made me laugh. I feel like I'm in Shakespearean language-thought mode now.

This morning my mom asked me to entertain the kids that will be coming over for the adults' caregroup that is going to be held at my house tonight. She said, "Play with the kids lah," and in my head I was thinking, "Are they toys at which they should be played?"

It's kinda fun though. And now I have this question: If Shakespeare's English is considered 'Modern English', then pray tell me what our English is called? My guess is that it's called '21st Century English'.

On another note, I am shocked but glad that Kris Allen has made it into the finals for American Idol. Woohoo! Really thought Gokey would be the one to face off against Lambert. Really hopes Kris Allen wins the title. Lambert can have a music career even without it.

------

"I do love nothing in this world so well as you. Is that not strange?"

I loved the adaptation done for this line peformed by Adrian Pang. Shakespeare's plays are really meant to be watched and not just read.

Back in Office

2009-05-13T04:42:00.000+08:00

Phew. Had a really long break since last Friday.

I have no idea what a Cycle Meet is but all I know is that it meant no work for the temporary staff. =D

The Vesak Day Holiday was carried over to Monday for everyone and because no one is working, I did not have to either.

Yesterday I went to NTU for my medical checkup so I was excused from work as well.

This week is also good because it is a 3-day work-week for me!

Tomorrow I'm going to catch Shakespeare in the Park: Much Ado About Nothing. It's a romantic comedy and I figure it'll be good for me to know this particular play by Shakespeare.

I'm back in my messy table. Although it's messy it's MINE, with my own cubicle walls and everything. I've been contemplating on bringing Frank over to make it seem more cozy. Anyway, it's not that I'm messy, it's just that all these boxes and files and papers lying around are all part of my work.

Lots of random songs have been stuck in my head for the past few days. 'Falling Slowly" is still one of them, I particularly love the version sung by Kris Allen. "It Ends Tonight" by the All American Rejects (thanks to an episode of Smallville that I happened to watch). And "No Surprise" by Daughtry, rocking song, that one.

No More Lies

2009-05-06T09:01:00.000+08:00

I felt angry at a negative thought that came to me today and after a while I realized that ultimately, I was angry at the devil's lies; it's like a veil was covering my eyes from really seeing the fullness of God's love.

I spent a few years in NCC hearing that the ultimate display of God's love was shown when God sent Jesus to die on the cross. I heard that without understanding what that really meant.

More often than not, if something bad happens, or things do not turn out well, I would know to remind myself of the cross and say, "It's ok. I know God still loves me and the cross is the proof." It became an excuse. Whenever things do not turn out well I would look back at the cross as if it was just something of the past and just accept the natural circumstance that was happening in the present. Now I realize that that was not seeing the fullness of the glory of the finished work of Jesus.

Jesus' death on the cross is not just an ancient historical event, it is THE EVENT. It is the proof that we should be reigning in life. I do not want to stop short by just looking to the cross and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I want to start believing that the cross is the proof that God has, can and will come through in my situation. It is a declaration of victory and no matter how bad things may get, I will stand on God's promises. I do not want to allow the natural things of this world to have the final say because God's word always, always, ALWAYS has the final word in every situation.

Jesus death on the cross is the marker of God's love but it does not end there. Jesus died on the cross and because of that I know that God's love is so great and not only that, Jesus rose again to show that even death is not final. Even if my natural circumstances scream, "It will not be so. It's impossible. There's no way in hell. It's a dead-end. DEATH!" I can simply say the one and only name that is above everything - JESUS!

I really want to hold on to God's Word and not allow this natural mind to hinder me from believing by showing me what is natural. How can we who are in Christ remain natural? If Christ is in us, then we can only be supernatural. Supernatural is the default mode.

I've heard enough of the lies that have seeped in so subtly and I choose to believe in God's Word. No matter how long this journey may take, I know that God's Word will out-live, out-last, out-class and out-everything that the world can throw.

It's time to really run with this no matter what others say and not be apologetic of this undeserved supernatural life that has been paid for in full by Jesus' blood. No more lies. No wonder Jesus also came as the truth that sets people free.

Even as I write this I get thoughts that it will be a long journey and I believe that's the natural mind thinking again. Thank You, Daddy, that you meet me at my level of faith. I will not think naturally but believe in acceleration and even if I may come across bumps, I will continue to trust in you.

My natural circumstances are not proof of God's love for me. There may be ups and downs but I can trust God that because of His love, the down times will be short and the high times will be long-lasting. God's love for me is not subject to my natural circumstances but my natural circumstances are certainly subject to God's love for me!

Life's Simple Pleasures

2009-05-05T07:40:00.000+08:00

Having a table right next to the pantry area where I have free access to all the drinks (canned drinks, coffee, water, etc) and food (fruits, cakes, cookies, etc) that I want, while stocks lasts.

Listening to nice songs. Credit to Jonah for posting the video cover of Falling Slowly by AJ Raphael featuring Jess Delgado and a few other musicians. When I was watching it I found the song familiar but could not remember where I heard it and with a quick check with Wikipedia I found that Kris Allen sung this song a while back. I remembered thinking it was nice but forgot to find out more about it.

-----

There's traffic at the copier/scanner/fax machine and because my job is specifically to scan old documents I have no choice but to take a short break until the traffic clears.

Anyway, since I'm on the topic, I predict that Danny Gokey and Adam Lambert will reach the finals with Kris Allen being in the Final 3. Although my ideal scenario would be where Danny and Kris reach the finals. I think this is the first time that I am following American Idol with this much interest. I only watched the last few episodes of the first one and I got a little bored with the successive ones. Maybe it's because this time I really have time to spare and watch the shows.

Ah, well. Breaks over.

JG out.

Classic

2009-05-01T18:40:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Kris Allen for a wonderful rendition of Sinatra's, "The Way You Look Tonight".

Love this song to bits!

Who?

2009-05-01T05:04:00.000+08:00

I saw a headline the other day that read, "WHO: swine flu is uncontainable"

I found it amusing because that is what the "WHO" of the world says. It is assuring to know Who really has the final say in the matter.

I am rather excited because it only means that we are going to see an explosion of healings in the body of Christ! Woohoo!

Office Joke

2009-04-30T04:24:00.000+08:00

Just had to blog this before I start working.

While waiting for someone to open the biometric door (uses fingerprint recognition), a lady came that wanted to go in as well.

Her fingerprint was not recognized on the first attempt. She then asked me if I was waiting for someone and I told her I was working her temporarily.

Her second attempt failed again so she pressed the doorbell (which I had already pressed but no one responded).

After a while someone came to open the door.

The lady then told the person that her thumbprint was not recognized.

I can attest to that. Because she was used her index finger instead of her thumb.

Apologies for any flooding caused.

2009-04-29T18:27:00.000+08:00

Really sorry to anyone who received an estimate of about 30 emails about my posts. I think I clicked on the wrong thing while blogging in the office and it caused a massive interpost from some of my old entries into my multiply.

-----

Seems like only you saw that story. It's incomplete and I don't know what to do with it now. Haha. It's not even supposed to be here so I've deleted it. Gosh... So embarassing.

Time...

2009-04-17T00:49:00.002+08:00

... ticks on and according to my little cow clock, its just a few minutes past midnight. (I have yet to name, thee, little white cow clock.)

I consider myself a rather disciplined person. There used to be a time when I would wake up without fail to the ring of an alarm everyday at the same time - just like clock-work. I remember Saturday mornings when I would wake up at 8 a.m. sharp even without an alarm. (Saturday morning cartoons started at 8 a.m.)

The interminable slew of days have drastically changed my sleeping habits and I have been procrastinating on having my body clock reset. Especially since I might be starting work pretty soon. The offer came from a source that I have thought off as dry. So here I go again, plunging in without knowing the full extent of what I am getting into. I have an appointment later on today to the agency to confirm things. I can only trust God that it will be well with me.

----- DISCLAIMER: The author may tend to ramble on in this entry as he has been repressing his blogging for no good reason. Skip to the end for more substantial reading. -----

I was lying on my bed one night thinking how I wish that humans did not have to sleep or at least require fewer hours of sleep. I was lying on my back and just drifting in my thoughts when I remembered that one night, a few months ago, I was in the same sleeping position but in an extremely different circumstance.

It was my first night sleeping outfield. I still remember the sensation of the rocks and the roots on my back covered only by a thin layer of groundsheet. I remember the discomfort as I tried to adjust myself to the most comfortable position with nothing as a bolster except my M16 rifle. As I lay there I reassured myself that National Service will go by quickly and that in the blink of an eye it will be over. It was then that I made a mental bookmark of that situation.

True enough, as if in the blink of an eye, I found myself looking back at that mental bookmark. Slowly, I began to drift off into sleep as I thanked God that those days are long gone.

-----

I find it fascinating that an inordinate amount of time could feel like a split-second when traveling the realm of dreams.

I note one example when I set my alarm at a certain time and when it went off, I adjust the alarm to ring 30 minutes later as I wanted to snooze more and just when it felt like I had dozed off for a few seconds, 30 minutes have passed. Truly fascinating.

-----

I have grown accustomed to it and it seems so normal that I just do not know what to do. However strong my fondness may be, I have to make a choice - one that may be painful after all this time but it has to be done.

Although I am still figuring out what exactly I want, I guess there is nothing for it but to stick to my decision and get another haircut.

-----

Only time can tell the story that will unfold.

----- And now for more substantial reading -----

Main Entry: substantial
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: important, ample
Synonyms: abundant, big, big-deal, bulky, consequential, considerable, durable, extraordinary, firm, generous, goodly, heavy, heavyweight, hefty, key, large, major-league, massive, material, meaningful, momentous, plentiful, principal, serious, significant, sizable, solid, sound, stable, steady, stout, strong, sturdy, superabundant, tidy, valuable, vast, weighty, well-built, worthwhile
Notes: substantial means considerable or sizeable; substantive means actual or firm
Antonyms: insignificant, little, minor, small, unimportant, unsubstantial

Main Entry: substantial
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: material, real
Synonyms: actual, card-carrying, concrete, corporeal, existent, for real, honest-to-god*, legit, objective, phenomenal, physical, positive, righteous, sensible, solid, sure enough, tangible, true, twenty-four-carat, valid, visible, weighty
Antonyms: ethereal, mental, spiritual

Childhood Stories

2009-03-29T05:22:00.000+08:00

It all started on a rainy day. I was walking from the LRT to my house amidst the pouring rain and I was about to make a dash for it when I started to ask myself, "When was the last time I had the chance to play in the rain?"

I remember it was back in the Philippines and in those times playing in the rain was something I could have always done but did not do often. In fact I remember only one instance when I did and I distinctly remember thinking that it was crazy but I want to do it. I wanted to do it but was rather scared because I was not very adventurous back then. I remember asking for permission if I could play in the rain.

Some days passed after that little walk down memory lane and I started to think back more about my childhood and this question popped up in my head: What do you think your friends here in Singapore did as children?

I realized then that because of cultural differences, their experiences of growing up in Singapore would be different from my own and a curiosity rose up in me to find out about it. I was pretty sure that growing up in Singapore meant more than just eating duck rice, eating pastries and playing soccer...

Hence, began my quest for the answer to this question: What is it like growing up in Singapore?

I often get stunned reactions when I ask this question so I always have to rephrase it: What are the things that you did when you were young?

Through asking this question I began to know more about my friends and what they were like before and I came to the conclusion that even though the country they grew up in is the same, the experiences are vastly different and even though our countries are different, there are some similar experiences.

Through the recounts of past experiences I began to remember memories of my own that I thought I had forgotten and by asking about others, I was able to remember more of myself and even laugh at myself at some of the things I did.

I hope that as I continue to ask others that I'll know them just a little bit more and be reminded of my own past because through that, I get to know myself just a little bit better too.

Love Stories

2009-03-24T16:52:00.000+08:00

Came across this video when a friend put the link up on youtube...

Somehow I like these kind of stories... Maybe that's why I watched Slumdog Millionaire in the cinema three times with three different groups of people...

There's one scene that I caught where they were filming the outside of a building to show that the film scene is taking place inside and a passerby, possibly a security guard of some sort, walks by and says, "No filming." It's a very short moment and because parts of the film is in the Indian language, it could be mistaken as an Indian man saying something random in Indian. I don't know whether it was deliberately left there to prove that the film was shot on actual sites or whether it was an oversight because when I first watched it, I did not even really hear that he said, "No filming."

Anyway, I think the ending credits for the show is really funky (in a good way).

Coffee + Prayer

2009-03-22T17:18:00.000+08:00

So much stuff has been brewing (no pun intended) in my heart and mind lately. I shall let go a funny little incident that happened today.

We were having a celebratory ORD lunch for Alvin Lim and Bryan at Pho Noodle House in Suntec Tower 2. I ordered this set meal that comes with a main course, an appetizer and a drink. I was pleasantly surprised as I was drinking the leftover ice from my Iced Coffee when the waitress asked me if I wanted to have a refill for my Iced Coffee. Initial question in my head was, "How much?" but before I could ask she said it was free. My cup was gone in a split second.

So after a delicious lunch and two cups of Iced Coffee there was some sharing and prayer. At the moment that Deaconess Tammie asked Ireen to pray for Agnes, nature decided to give me a call. I get this particular call especially often when I drink coffee. I figured that I could wait until the prayer is over before I went to the toilet so I continued to sit and wait until the prayer was over at the same time praying silently on my own that the Ireen's prayer will be short.

After Ireen's prayer I was about to get up and go when Deaconess decided to pray for Alvin Lim. So I remained in my seat and continued to pray my own prayer.

After Deaconess finished praying I was so relieved and was about to get up and go when Alvin Lim blurts out, "Wait, wait. Can we pray for my lasic tomorrow?"

-_-"""""""""""""""

At that point I stood up and walked off to the toilet.

Walking Thoughts

2009-03-14T20:15:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I prefer to walk than to take the LRT because I tend to think about stuff when I do...

-----

I am more comfortable sleeping in the couch than in my own bed. I think I am one step closer to being marriageable.

-----

Its kinda nice to forget bringing my phone out sometimes. Although at first it feels like I am handicapped it makes me realize that I do not have to be shackled by the device. I do not have to reply messages or answer calls that I know are not urgent, especially if I am already talking with someone in person. I don't have to check my pocket every once in a while because I think I felt it vibrate. Its a refreshing feeling...

I wonder if I have any missed calls or messages.

-----

Turn of the switch, will You?

Import Testing...

2009-03-13T06:49:00.000+08:00

What do we make of today if not for our tomorrow?

How Long Has It Been Since You... (No, this is not another one of those survey things.)

2009-03-05T18:47:00.000+08:00

... spent time with your grandparents?

... watched a movie with your parents?

... played together with your siblings?

... ate lunch with your friends?

... shopped with your friends?

... attended a reunion?

... read an engrossing novel?

... caught a good movie?

... get caught in the rain?

... and actually enjoy walking through it?

Matters of the Heart

2009-02-14T16:27:00.000+08:00

No, Mom, Shawn or Desmond. I'm not going to talk about a girl that I like because there is none at this point in time. (Shawn, don't say, "Don't bluff.")

-----

Somehow the past CG was exciting for me. I can't really explain it but I believe as Coach Tammie told us at the retreat that CG will be an enjoyable time, that seed was planted in my heart and it started growing and I believe that future CGs will be even more exciting.

Proverbs 4:23 (NKJV)
Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.

Pastor Benjamin shared last Arrow that everything begins from the heart. What we believe in our hearts affects our thinking and what we think affects what we do. Right believing leads to right living and that belief originates from the heart.

In my NLT, Proverbs 4:23 reads, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do." What we do or say; our actions, it begins from the heart. How we react to situations and how we communicate, how we interact with people, our relationships, all these are birthed from the heart. Faith begins from the heart.

The things that are important to us are often called "close to our heart". They are so precious that Luke 6:45 calls them treasures. "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." As long as it is in our heart, it is treasure and it can be either good treasure or evil treasure and that treasure is what springs forth from us. It springs forth in our speech and our actions.

I am also reminded of Luke 12:34 that reads, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. So if we consider something as important, if we treasure something, our heart is there also. I am so glad that if something matters to us, it matters to God as well.

That is why Jesus came not just to forgive us of our sins, heal all our diseases and became poor that we might become rich, but he also came to heal us of our broken hearts. In John 19:34 we can read that when Jesus' side was pierced, blood and water came out. Medical science would tell us that water came out because Jesus suffered hypovolemic shock; Jesus' heart began to beat rapidly so much so that fluid gathered around the heart and lungs. It was a literal breaking of the heart. His heart was physically broken so that we need not suffer the pains of a broken heart.

Jesus knew the importance of healing our broken hearts. He knows that faith is birthed from the heart and that if our hearts are broken we might find it hard to have faith. When we suffer a broken heart from rejection, disappointment or self-condemnation we will find it difficult to believe that God is for us. If everything begins from the heart, then if the heart cannot believe in God, how can a person believe that God will come through? Jesus died for our broken hearts so that our hearts may be pure, not hardened or closed off.

Matthew 5:8 reads, "Blessed are the pure in heart, For they shall see God." When our hearts are so pure, purified by Jesus' blood, we will find it easier to believe God and we will see Him! I used to think that this verse was referring to when we die and go to Heaven but it is referring to our time on earth and because we are made righteous by Jesus, we have that pure heart and when we simply believe, we will see God in the here and now.

And I was so blessed by what Ireen shared about the piece of armour that protects our heart; the breastplate of righteousness. Being conscious of our righteousness in Christ is one of the ways that our hearts are kept guarded.

Romans 10:10 reads, "From with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." Again we can see how everything begins from the heart. When we receive righteousness it began with the believing from the heart and from there we confess and Jesus comes into our hearts.

And when we find our hearts troubled by the cares of the world we are reminded in Philippians 4:6-8 that it is the peace of God through Jesus Christ who will guard our our hearts and minds. We only need to fill our hearts with the things mentioned in verse 8 and that includes the believing that we are righteous in Christ!

Some people might think that they have not really experienced a broken heart. They might say, "I have not been rejected by someone of the opposite sex. In fact it is I who does the heart breaking. Hehe (Jerk)" or "I have been disappointed before but not to the point of depression. I don't think that counts as a broken heart." But all these are different degrees of brokenness that is encompassed in Jesus' death burial and resurrection. Even if it is a "small" heart break Jesus died for it too whether it may be not getting into an institution of choice, a person telling us something and then doing a totally different thing, all these seemingly small things can contribute to a person's heart being broken. But Jesus died even for all that so that these things need not be harboured in the heart.

I'd like to offer another characteristic of a broken heart. A heart that has become numb to God's love is also broken. It is a heart that takes defeat as the norm. It is broken by God's standards.

God does not want us to remain defeated or disheartened (pun intended) but it is His will that we experience victory in our lives. Our hearts should be firmly founded in the finished work of Jesus which is the ultimate victory in all of history. If God's heart for us is to prosper and to succeed in life then let us determine to be people after God's heart and start believing in our hearts that because of Jesus we will reign in life!

Playmode: Repeat

2009-02-11T13:20:00.000+08:00

I'm the kind of person who can listen to the same song over and over and over and over and over and over and over... you get the idea.

Sometimes I'll put the Hillsongs Album This is Our God on shuffle and I would find myself changing it to repeat mode on a few songs and the one song that probably holds the record for being on repeat for an incalculable number of times for me is With Everything.

I just love the part that says,

Let hope rise
and darkness tremble
in Your Holy light...

These three lines only appear twice in the whole song but they never fail to remind me of putting my trust in God. I am reminded that hope in God is different from the world. It is a hope that does not disappoint. Although the current circumstances may be bleak and no matter how long it seems I can't help but have this hope knowing that God is a loving Father and that all the forces of evil and of the curse cannot succeed in my life.

I'm really glad for this song that is a constant reminder that God loves me and His grace super abounds in the areas where I miss my mark.

If I can describe this song in one word it would be something that can be said of God too - powerful.

I love my neighborhood even more during the night time (save for weird people going around asking to be your friend) because the streets are empty and no body cares when I walk past almost screaming out this song. Its during those times that I feel I can really worship Him with all my heart, my soul, my voice, my everything.

After listening to this song over and over again it's no wonder I find myself singing out the lines that are such an encouragement to me. I am reminded that whatever is in my heart, that is what comes forth from me and hence why I find myself singing this song even when I'm not listening to it. It has become a part of my heart.

Sausage McMuffin with Egg Meal, Extra Bread with Jam, and a Hotcake

2009-02-07T08:24:00.000+08:00

If you did not already know, if I can't think of an entry title I'll just put in my breakfast as the title.

The past week I had two gatherings that I attended. The first one was with my colleagues from NS. It was our long overdue cohesion event (its an event to promote bonding within the work place to enhance, for lack of a more original word, cohesion). For a long time now the section had some extra cash earned from a project that was done by the previous members of the section. I think its a move by the army to promote creativity and innovation; give good idea, get good money. This particular idea is one of those ideas good enough to earn a lot of money. The money given differs based on the idea. I ever came across a person awarded $20 for suggesting to put a bell on the office door so that people would know that someone comes into the office. But anyway, this idea was so good that it was enough to sponsor 13 people to eat the lunch buffet at Kuishin Bo and still play 3 rounds of bowling after that. I was very blessed to be able to enjoy the free favours despite having ORD last year November. I learned that I am horrible at bowling. -_-" Or rather was reminded that I am horrible at bowling.

Had a CNY gathering at Sheena's place yesterday as well. It was a reunion of sorts with my secondary school classmates, some of which I have not seen for about 4 years. I really believe God placed me to be in that particular class to meet all these people who are so friendly and welcoming. Really the right place at the right time. They all really helped me adjust into the Singapore school system. I really can't imagine being in another class other than 4E1. I was quite amused at how people have changed in appearance. For one there was a transfer of erm... prosperity... One of the guys who used to be super fit and slim was now kinda healthy while the other who used to be quite healthy was now slim. Even though the journey was a total of 4 hours to and fro it was worth it.

Also woke up really early today (something which I have not done for a while). Praise God for a direct bus to the airport. A few of us went to see Wanling off as she goes to study in Perth. I realized how accessible the airport is for me and I can understand why some people love going to the airport. There's just something about it that it got me thinking that I don't mind hanging out there some time.

I also decided to play with my digital camera. I have been under appreciating it. Sometimes when I take it out people say, "Whoa, cool!" or something like that. It is kinda cool looking and I shall be thankful for it and shall use it more often. I found one fun thing to do with it.

Took some photos of myself one day and I found some photos that I can play with like this one. =D

I added in the thought bubble and it becomes a template I can use for any other random stuff that I can think of.

I like how my hair looks, (and I quote Oinkypig) "untamed". Although he said untamed I read it as "wild". Haha. It's going to get more wild as I continue to experiment with the length and the final look that I want to acheive.

Anyway, still looking for a job after a month or so of looking.. Hah. If you know of any prospects please let me know. Been helping out my Dad with some stuff but mostly because I have the time anyway.

Yup. Shall end of here and the following is something I see in some people's LiveJournal websites but I'm putting my own personal touch...

Mood: Happy.

Listening to: This Is Our God (The Whole Album) - Hillsongs United. I'm so in love with the songs in this one and have been listening to it A LOT!

Before and After...

2009-01-24T06:20:00.000+08:00

Before...

... and After. (though not much difference)

... the intended look...

Something as Simple as Knowing a Name

2009-01-18T18:38:00.000+08:00

It was a sunny day in that little street in that little town beside a little lake. The girl was standing on the sidewalk outside her house. She had just moved to the town and had yet to make any friends. She was soaking in the new surroundings, the different houses, and the trees arrayed along the street.

She was an introvert by nature and was quite content being by herself but in her heart she wanted to be make new friends as soon as possible.

The paper boy cycled past. He was going through his daily rounds of delivering the evening paper when he noticed the little girl. He wondered whether she was lost because he noticed she was looking around. He decided to offer his assistance since he knew the town like he knew the back of his hand.

"Hi," he greeted as he brought his bicycle to a halt.

The girl was surprised but elated to have the opportunity to meet someone. "Hello," she replied timidly.

"Are you lost?" asked the boy.

She shook her head. "I just moved here and I stay in this house," she pointed to her house behind her.

"Oh! That's cool." There was an awkward silence as the boy was unsure how to proceed. After a short pause he spoke, "So what's your name?"

"Janoah," she replied.

He was surprised to hear such a unique name. He had to ask her to spell it out so that he would know how to pronounce it properly. He admitted that he was not very good with uncommon names.

"I'm Evan." After introducing himself he remembered that he had to continue with his rounds so he bid her good bye and cycled along down the road.

As the days passed Evan would see Janoah around town but it was always during his rounds and she always seemed occupied walking along by herself or with friends so he did not stop to say hello.

Although he was the first friend Janoah ever made, the meeting with Evan was soon forgotten. Through all the unpacking of her belongings, going to the new school and making friends with the neighbours that meeting with Evan was forgotten albeit not on purpose on the part of Janoah.

One day Janoah was walking on her way home from school. She was feeling a little sad and lonely because she had no one to go home with on that particular day. It just so happened that Evan was cycling along the road coming from behind her. He recognized the girl to be Janoah and he decided that it would not hurt to say hello.

"Hi, Janoah," he greeted as he started to match his cycling speed with her pace of walking.

A look of utter surprise was evident on Janoah's face but there was a hint of happiness in her face. She was shocked that someone knew her and she felt happy because of that fact.

"How do you know my name?" she asked.

Evan laughed.

"I met you about a week ago when you were looking around outside of your house."

"Oh yeah," said Janoah, as realization began to flood her memory, "but I forgot your name."

"Its Evan," he replied with a smile. "I guess I'll be seeing you around then."

"Ok!" she replied cheerfully and with that Evan continued to cycle down the road ahead of her.

That short meeting really encouraged Evan. It did not bother him that his name was forgotten but rather he could not forget that hint of happiness in Janoah's face. He was just glad that he was able to brighten someone's day even by something as simple as knowing a name.

-----

Although I'm a believer in remembering people's names I still forget sometimes. Praise God that I have the mind of Christ and I would have improved memory.

Vanity

2009-01-16T16:38:00.000+08:00

Don Staple and Aladdin were taking the train one day...

"Hey, Aladdin. I'd like to introduce you to someone I recently met. His name is Vanity."

"Oh my gosh! The Vanity? I've known him for the longest time. We're very close."

-----

Just got my hair done after almost 3 months of letting it grow freely. Still not enough to change to a totally different hairstyle but according to wise counsel its good enough for an intermediate phase.

I think it was my first time getting my hair done at a hair stylist because barbers have always been my friend. Would not have gone in by myself so thank God I have Jimmy and Alvin Lim to accompany me. They were the ones who helped me pick a style from the style book from the salon and will be closely monitoring my hair's progression.

Also bought wax for myself for the first time. I have used hair gel for all of my teenage life (and even starting to use it was a milestone) but they helped me pick out the type of wax. I did not know that the colours of the container was for different kinds of hair and style. I always thought the colour was for variety.

I guess I'll see how much of a difference wax and a trim has done. I'm going to be "tested" by Alvin and Jimmy on it.

Kindergarten Playground

2009-01-13T07:28:00.000+08:00

It was recess time in that little kindergarten in that little town beside a little lake. As always the little boy looked out longingly into the playground from a window.

There was a little girl playing in the sandbox. She was making a sandcastle using only a pail and a toy shovel. It was a rather impressive sandcastle considering her age, but the little boy was not looking at her.

There was a little boy who was bravely playing on the slide. The moment he reached the bottom he would immediately stand up and make his way up at the ladder and slide down once again. It was quite daring considering the size of the slide and the size of the child but the little boy was not looking at him.

He was looking at another boy who was playing on the swings. The boy was laughing heartily, happily swinging away higher and higher.

The boy looking out from the window sighed.

"It must be fun to play on the swings and go higher and higher," he thought and he continued to look on.

The teacher noticed the boy looking out from the window. He made his way and squatted beside the boy.

"Do you want to go play outside?" the teacher asked, putting his hand on the boy's shoulder.

The boy turned to look at the teacher and then looked down.

"Do you want to play on the sandbox?"

The boy continued to look down and shook his head.

"How about on the slide?"

Again the boy shook his head.

"The swings maybe?"

The boy kept silent.

"It looks like a lot of fun. Shall I take you there?" The teacher held out his hands to the boy.

The boy looked at the teacher's hand. He wanted to reach out for it but he hesitated.

"What if I fall? What if I can't swing as high as everyone else? What if I'm not good enough? What if..."

"Hey," the teacher gently interrupted. "Don't worry. I'll go with you, alright?"

The boy looked at the teacher and into his reassuring smile. He slowly reached out for the teacher's hand.

Hand-in-hand they stepped out into the playground. They went past the sandbox and past the slide until they reached the swings.

"Hold on tight," said the teacher as he sat the boy on the swing. He pulled the swing back a little way and gave it a push. "Now lean forward," he instructed as the boy swung forward. "Now lean back. That's it."

Slowly the boy started to gain momentum. He leaned forward and backward as he was instructed and he too started to swing higher and higher. He let out a the most wonderful laugh like only a child could.

Song Memory Playback of "And Now My Lifesong Sings" by Casting Crowns

2009-01-09T19:07:00.000+08:00

In the past two days or so I kept humming a tune of this song but I could not remember the words exactly. It was always, "hmmmmmmmm, I was something and now I'm hmmmmm." Not enough to google the lyrics out. Like I had the tune in the head but I don't remember the lyrics or the rest of the song.

Sometimes it would come back and with a bit more now like it wants to come into remembrance. Today somehow I suddenly remembered an extra line, "And now my lifesong sings..." And it turns out that its also the title. Praise God for Google (or Blackle for those who want to are more eco-friendly).

Let my life be a testimony to You.

First Recorded Dream of 2009

2009-01-06T20:06:00.000+08:00

I'm running on F&N Orange Soda this time around.

I used to think so much whenever I have dreams. I would think that any dream I have will have a special meaning because its not often that I would wake up remembering having a dream. Hence on instances when I do remember what I dream about I would think that it must mean something or my subconscious is telling me something that my conscious will not admit.

That was until I had my first dream of 2009. It happened on the morning of January 2, 2009.

Its amazing how in dreams we would know exactly the background information, situation and environment in the dream as if it was something matter of a fact.

In this particular dream I had a girlfriend and I was at her door waiting for her to come out. When she did her father who was going somewhere else offered to drive us to our destination and I felt like I needed to impress him so I offered to drive knowing fully well that I have no license.

I remember driving in dreamland so fearfully because I had no license and was hoping I would not get caught by the traffic police or found out by the dad.

What convinced me that some dreams are just dreams and nothing more is that my supposed "dream girlfriend" was totally random.

But nonetheless, dreams are so fascinating. Sometimes I go to sleep wanting to have dreams of flying because I remember one particular time when I was able to fly in my dream but before I could fly higher and further I woke up.

I wonder if there ever will be a device that could capture dreams...?

-----

Here's some questions to ponder:

1. What do you do when you run? I think even for Singapore at any time within 24 hours there will be a person running somewhere. I notice that people here have no qualms about running at weird hours. Even at midnight on the 31st of December I saw at least two people out for a run. Anyway, back to the question, personally its a chance for me to think about stuff. Would have wanted to pray in tongues the whole time while running but its difficult to incorporate it into the breathing.

2. What's the most effective position to put the Wii Sensor bar: Above the TV or below it? My bro was playing boxing on Wii Sports and it seemed like the sensor was not reading all the punches correctly. Tried shifting the sensor but ended up just leaving it on top...

3. What's your favourite ice cream flavour? =D Eh, if your sleeping posture is believed to be affected by your personality I don't see how my ice cream flavour theory is too hard to believe.

4. What are the things you would give up if you know God can give you something better? (I plan to talk about this next time.)

1st Post of 2009

2009-01-01T19:13:00.000+08:00

Nothing like ushering in the New Year with praise, worship and prayer.

While worshiping I just felt Daddy God giving me a word to run with for the year ahead.

"Keep my eyes on Jesus." I tend to look at my challenges, my failures, my weaknesses and other stuff and although I know that God is for me and Jesus is in me and the Holy Spirit guides me I did not realize that I was still too focused on my problems.

"God, help me through this problem. Help me overcome this problem. Carry me through this problem... This problem... This problem... This problem..."

Instead of focusing on "this problem" He showed me that Jesus is my freedom. Jesus is my everything. Instead of always thinking about the problem and asking God to help me with it, God wants me to see Jesus as my solution and thank Him.

Jesus you are my freedom, you are my solution, you are my wisdom, you are my sanctification, you are my redemption, you are my salvation, you are my EVERYTHING!

-----

First food eaten in 2009: Red Bean Pancake, Lay's Potato Chips and Chrysanthemum Tea packet drink.

-----

Ah, gosh. Just realized that this first post falls on 2nd Jan. 12 minutes too late. (-_-)"

Happy New Year!

Song Memory Playback of "Take All of Me" by Hillsongs

2008-12-31T08:12:00.000+08:00

Ever had those moments when from out of nowhere you start humming or singing a song even though you have not heard that song for ages?

I sometimes randomly get this to random Jay Chou songs that I have heard in the past... I shall call this phenomena Song Memory Playback (SMP).

Today I had a more pleasant Song Memory Playback. Out of the recesses of my brain I suddenly started singing the chorus of this song. I did not realize that it is such a classic.

My love for You is simply a response to Your awesome love for me...

Some Thoughts on Worship

2008-12-26T11:39:00.000+08:00

Been blessed the past few months to learn so much about worship.

A few Arrow Services back Pastor Daniel came and shared about Worship. He shared about one incident in the life of David, writer of most of the Psalms, when he was about to be caught by the person that is after his life, King Saul. Through some God-incidences David managed to escape and he wrote Psalm 18 at this point.

Another incident in David's life was when he was taking refuge in the Cave of Adullam. He was with his 400 mighty men (someone correct me if I'm wrong on the number) and all of them squeezed inside the cave which was most probably smelly and dark. Yet he wrote Psalm 34 even in that situation.

There is also the story of King Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles 20 where instead of sending an army to fight against the enemies, he sent worshippers to the front lines because God had assured him of victory.

What then is the significance of all these examples? For me it is a reminder that worship is more than just music and singing. For us believers, worship is a response to the goodness, grace and love of God that was embodied by Jesus. Worship is lifting up Jesus and declaring that his work is perfect and complete.

When we worship, it is like lifting up Jesus as a banner of our victory. Even though the victory may not be evident, it does not change the fact that Jesus has already won the victory.

When we raise our hands up to worship him it is declaring that Jesus is the victory that we need in our situation, just as Moses lifted up his hands in Rephidim when the Amalekites attacked the Israelites. (Exodus 17) Whenever Moses' hands were lifted up the Israelites prevailed against the Amalekites. And it was Joshua who was made captain of the armies of Israel; Jesus is the one who fights the battle.

When we shout Jesus' name it is more than just saying out the name of our Saviour. In Joshua 6 we can read the story of how the walls of the city of Jericho crumbled after the people shouted. They "shouted with a great shout" and the walls of the city fell down flat. Today, we do not just shout with a great shout but we shout out the name of Jesus, the name above every other name.

It really changes my view and response whenever a worship leader says, "Church, raise up your hands," or "Somebody shout, 'Jesus!' in this place". We do not worship to bring the victory but we worship because Jesus has already won the victory and we simply respond in worship and give God all the glory. Its very hard to look at worship the same way again.

Backflip

2008-12-22T17:40:00.000+08:00

This conversation was inspired by the video below...

JG looks at George during dinner one time.

JG: Hey, George. Do you want to learn how to do a backflip?

George: No...

JG: C'mon I'll be your spotter. Because those who can't do, teach!

How to Give the Perfect Man Hug

2008-12-17T17:13:00.000+08:00

Because real men hug...

Never Alone, Always Cared For (taken from New Creation Church Daily Devotional)

2008-12-16T05:30:00.000+08:00

1 Peter 5:7
7casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
It does not matter how tightly knit our families are or how many close friends we have. When we go through a difficult time or trial, many a time, we still feel all alone and that no one really cares or understands.

Martha knew that feeling. She had on one occasion cried out to Jesus, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?” (Luke 10:40) Jesus’ disciples also knew what it was like to feel small, alone and in trouble. They cried out, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” when they were swept up in a terrifying storm. (Mark 4:38)

Today, maybe the cry of your heart is also, “Lord, do You not care that I am left all alone… that I am going under… that I am perishing?”

My friend, the Lord does care for you. He loves you so much that He wants you to cast all your cares upon Him — not just some but all your cares. He wants both your big and small cares. There is nothing too small or big for Him. If it is a care in your heart, He wants you to cast it upon Him.

When the apostle Peter wrote “casting all your care upon Him”, he was talking about the continuous act of casting all your cares upon the Lord. As a care comes, God wants you to cast it to Him. That is the lifestyle He wants you to adopt. Why? The verse gives us the reason — “for He cares for you”. You are casting all your cares upon the One who loves you, and who left all of heaven to come and die for you. That is who you are casting your cares to. It is not just any person, but it is the One who gave His life for you!

When you are going through a difficult time, God wants you to believe that you are never alone because He Himself has said that He will never leave you nor forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5) As the object of His care, He will take care of you for the rest of your life. You are never alone and always cared for!

Encounter Jesus Camp 08

2008-12-12T15:05:00.000+08:00

Had a really blessed time at EJ camp. It was really an honour and a privilege to be able to come back to help out in DARE ministry and go for the camp.

At first I thought that the camp was really just for the youths. It was a camp for the youths to encounter Jesus. It was during one of the sessions that I realized the true reason why the camp is called "Encounter Jesus". It does not matter whether you are a youth, server, helper, committee member, or what ever - you will encounter Jesus!

I almost lost out on this when I had the wrong thinking that I cannot receive from the camp. I remember telling God that if the camp is called "Encounter Jesus" then I want that encounter.

It was during one of the ministering sessions when I had that encounter. Pastor Benjamin had just finished praying over a few people and I was helping catch people who fell under the power of God. When I thought that the ministering was over Pastor Benjamin suddenly just invited people again saying, "All those who want to experience what they just did for a second time just come up."

I don't know why but I some how felt like crying. Its not something I can explain but I just felt such a spirit of love. God was pouring out His love even giving out a second dose of anointing. He really wanted to transform the lives of the people there and when I felt that I knew that I had an encounter with Jesus. When I saw how much Daddy God was pouring out love I knew that I had my encounter with Jesus because Jesus is love personified.

Love's come down.

In the world but not of it.

2008-12-02T20:03:00.000+08:00

Slowly I'm starting to have an experiential understanding of what it means to be in the world but not of it.

I've heard it said a lot of times before, "You are in the world but not of the world..." It often receives a resounding response of amens and nods when it is said.

We are in the world, in the natural but we are not bound by the natural ways of this world. As Christians we are not of this world but we live under the ways of the kingdom of God. And His kingdom is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

It is when we are so spirit-filled that we begin to experience the righteousness, peace and joy that are the elements of the kingdom of God. Not only that but there is healing and prosperity in the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 10:7-8 "And as you go, preach, saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give."

Matthew 6:25-30 is the famous passage where Jesus speaks of the birds of the air and the lilies of the field and the preceding verses, 31-34 speak of how God takes care of our needs: “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

No wonder there must be repentance, a radical change in the way we think, when the spirit begins to move and the kingdom of Heaven manifests. How will we respond when we see righteousness, peace, joy, healing and prosperity? How long will we continue in our natural mindset that is of this world and continue to worry? How long will we continue living like orphans without a Heavenly father watching over us?

After an awesome service about being spirit-filled its easy to believe that nothing can go wrong, that everything will work out together for my good. A few minutes later, the natural takes over again. A small mishap and doubts begin to rise. Its very easy to live in the world and be of it. It is a labour to enter into the rest.

But God is faithful. If a promise is in the Word and Jesus has fulfilled the requirements for that promise for me by His death on the cross then it is my right to receive it. I want to come to a place where I am so filled by the spirit that the kingdom of God manifests so strongly, readily, easily.

Perseverance, patience, it will not happen over night. It begins by speaking and praying in the spirit daily, continually, unceasingly until it becomes a river of flowing water. I love how God makes it so simple for us. His ways are simple yet powerful. It is also something that the natural, logical mind cannot comprehend.

And as we believe in the finished work of Christ on the cross, as we believe that the Holy Spirit now indwells us and teaches us and guides us in all things; therefore we speak.

Its about time to radically change the way we think. We may be in this world but we are not of it.

Lasts II

2008-11-11T22:10:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I finally cleared my last duty EVER! At first I was worried because I was doing the duty with non-commisioned officers who are usually more strict.

Before the duty I kept thinking how bad it might be until I realised that favour is a person. During my other duties I was so happy because somehow I found favour with the officers but the favour was not dependant on whether I was with an officer or non-commisioned officer. The favour come because favour personified is with me.

There are some officers who can be just as strict as non-commisioned officers so it was not a matter of who I was physically doing the duty with but because of Jesus with me, the favour follows. It does not matter whether the person I am doing duty with is the most strict in the whole island, I would still be favoured because Jesus is my favour.

As it turned out I had a peaceful last duty. Favour is not dependent on my environment and all that is around me but it is dependent on who is with me.

I also had my last SAF meal:
Pineapple rice, duck in black sauce, some kind of mini fish cake thing, tom-yam soup, red bean ice cream and soya milk.

I remember my first ever SAF meal on enlistment day:
Rice, fried chicken, french fries, mashed potatoes, cream of mushroom soup and some syrup drink. (I think.)

Also had my final "working" day today. Duty rest until 10am, took a cold shower then lounged around in the office before going for lunch. Made sure my tasks are covered by my colleagues and then used up my last half day off.

Operational Ready Date...

-----

Think, Sleep, Wake, Think... Hrmmz.

-----

Someone's taking medicine as a MAJOR.

Lasts...

2008-10-26T05:31:00.000+08:00

I finished my last weekend duty for my NSF stint. Decided to take a nap in the converted store room instead of booking out immediately. I had the whole building to myself. Wanted to blog earlier but somehow the cookies thing was not working in camp.

Surprisingly I had an enjoyable weekend duty. All the superiors were very nice especially the 2nd Lieutenant who was so funny. Really made the weekend duty fun. Praise God for favour.

I also took my last "army" haircut last Friday. Considering growing out my hair. Maybe something like this? (Minus the apron.)

*shrugs* Can't really think of anything else. I've had the same hairstyle for as long as I can remember. Other than shaving my head for BMT last time I've always kept the same length of hair and never thought of changing it.

Two weeks ago was my last time being involved in Direct Enlistment. I still remember conducting my first briefing for the new recruits. I remember telling them to relax and I think some of them felt better (it's their first day of army and it can be quite nerve-racking) and I saw some of them sink back into their chairs and sigh a breath of relief. Then I suddenly said, "ON YOUR FEETS UP!" loudly at them. Boy, did they jump out of their seats. Thinking back it was quite mean so I refrained from doing that ever again. [>_<]

Even as I walk around the island and see how they train I would see flashbacks of my own time on that island resort. Nostalgic. I remember hiding under the beds of my section mates and scaring the toe nails out of them by grabbing their feet. Ah, those were the days. Haha.

Ah, much has been happening. Sometimes I feel like blogging when I'm outside and there's something blog-able but then I forget about it when I get home. Shall consider bringing around a journal or something.

Arrow October 18 Pre-Service and Picket Fence

2008-10-21T20:05:00.000+08:00

"You're not a face in the crowd. He sees you..."

Last Arrow's pre-service speaks for itself. Only recently did I begin to see the significance of pre-service. Aside from the cool gimmicks and cool designs if even one person could be impacted and brought closer to Jesus then I believe it is worth all the hours spent planning and setting it up, even if it will only be up for a few minutes - it is worth it!

My awe and thanks goes out to the Idea Makers Team that made it all happen. May God bless each and everyone of you as you continue to serve in this wonderful ministry.

-----

For some time I have been wondering at why I was hesitant to do it. I acknowledge that the gift of writing which I believe I have received by grace is really that - a gift received by grace. I began to think why I was so hesitant then to do it.

I only realized recently what it really meant to acknowledge this gift as something that is not my own. At first I was afraid of what people might think about what I write. I was afraid of criticism. Slowly I have been learning that it matters not what other people think but what is important is what God thinks of me.

If this gift was really from Him then whatever is written is not mine to guard or to be ashamed about. I thought I was being humble by trying to hide it but that was the exact opposite. By trying to hide it I was only showing that a part of me believes that it is me who has the gift. If it is His in the first place then He will be faithful to put his grace and favor on it.

Slowly I am changing how I see this gift and as a first step I am putting up this link: http://www.overflowcentral.com/picketfence

It is a collaboration between me and my parents and I hope it achieves its purpose. It is partly a dream come true for me, partly because if I remember correctly I only contributed 3 articles.

"Even if a book only has one reader then it is worth publishing." I forgot the exact quote but some author I forgot supposedly said that. Haha.

The Wedding

2008-10-12T09:49:00.002+08:00

Coach Tammie and Kelvin's wedding was held at RJC. It was such an unconventional place to hold a wedding so much so that it was unforgettable.

It was my first time attending a wedding that is officiated by our church and I realized an irony because of the different way it was done.

Conventional weddings, usually held in churches, have the normal structure where the bride walks in and then the pastor, priest, minister, etc will start the ceremony. However in yesterday's wedding, after the bride walked in, the whole ceremony was started off with worship to God.

As I watched the couple in the front faced away from the crowd, hands holding each other and the free hand raised up in worship it struck me that God was in the wedding. It was like a formal invitation. I never once even thought about God being in the picture for other weddings even weddings held in a church! How ironic is that? Talk about having a party at some one's house and not even inviting the owner of the house.

It was then that I realized that the marriage had God as the centre. Even as the couple worshipped God together they were declaring to God that He will be the one that will hold the marriage and that it will be blessed.

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Anyway, turns out that I really was wearing my left-eye contacts on my right eye and vice-versa. That is why I was "crying" so much, I'm not overly-sentimental.

Seeds

2008-10-09T21:18:00.002+08:00

I remember the times when I gave up speaking over my life because the manifestation was just taking too long. Too long that it seemed like there were no results.

I was so blessed to really understand why God's Word is likened to a seed.

Seeds need time to take root. Seeds do not grow into trees overnight.

As we keep hearing God's Word in our situations and as we speak over our situations it is like developing the seed; watering it, feeding it, nurturing it.

The illustration of how a certain type of bamboo (Chinese bamboo if I'm not wrong) takes a very long time to grow. Although the seed is planted it takes years before even a shoot is seen. But even as the years pass, even when it seems that nothing is growing on the surface, it is actually taking root.

Sometimes on the surface it seems like nothing is happening in our lives but actually God's Word is taking root into our lives. It is digging deep and the roots spread out.

When Chinese bamboo finally grows out, it grows high and strong. It shoots out! It is as if all the times spent on nurturing the seed is released in such an amazing manner.

When God's Word has taken root in our lives the manifestation will also be so amazing. The blessings will just shoot out and it will be abundant!

All it takes is time. God's promises and blessings that are in the Word are always true. They might take time to manifest but they WILL manifest. If it is a promise then there is no doubt about it.

Even as I continue to see the blessings in my life begin to manifest I believe that I will receive so much more and everything that I declare over my life based on God's Word will come to pass.

Lesson for me: Do not be discouraged when things do not seem to happen in the surface. God's Word is true and if He said it in His Word it will surely come to pass.

His Love is Stronger

2008-10-06T20:00:00.002+08:00

You are stronger
You are stronger
Sin is broken
You have saved me
It is written
Christ is risen
Jesus You are Lord of all...

Its very easy to think that the things of the world are too overwhelming. Its very easy to just roll over and let things happen just because it seems "natural".

Sometimes trouble has a way of rearing it's ugly head and I forget that no matter how ugly things can get God loves us so much that He will take care of the trouble. Sometimes I feel that troubles will only be solved if I do something without even remembering that only God has the real answers. Often I come to the conclusion that God can solve the problem only after I have reached a point where I have done every human way I can think of and still have no answer to the problem.

Often we care too much without realizing that He cares even more.

If He feeds the birds of the air how much more will He take care of us? Are we not of more value than they?

He so loves the whole world, enough to send His only Son, will He not with Jesus also freely give us all things?

Though I still think about it I know that the matter is in His mighty hands.

Tuna Rice

2008-10-03T14:53:00.002+08:00

Been bumming around the whole day...

Had one wisdom tooth plucked out because food always gets stuck on it and it is quite irritating.

What's more irritating is that now food seems to get stuck on the gums where the tooth was supposed to be. [-_-]'

I took back the tooth as a souvenir. It looks so cute and pearly... "It's like an angel," says one of my colleagues. I wish I could take photo of it. Haha. It's really, really cute. Teeth actually look bigger when they're plucked out nicely. Did not know the root could grow so long.

It was interesting the way it felt when the dentist was plucking it out. I felt the struggle and I actually thought she was having trouble taking it out but after a few minutes she said it was done. Kinda cool. My mouth was numb for a while. Quite an interesting feeling.

Vanilla Cookies

2008-09-25T12:16:00.002+08:00

I did not think that I would be affected by the melamine scare.

Only until last Tuesday did I realize the severity of the situation.

Tuesday is supposed to be Ice Cream day at the cookhouse and guess what? Tuesday Ice Cream day is now Tuesday Fruit Jelly day.

Yipee...

Lactose-intolerant people must be rejoicing by now.

It's funny how even products not tested for having melamine content is now being avoided. You would be surprised at how many food products contain dairy.

It is a good thing that amidst all the scares there is nothing to worry about for those of us who are in this world but not of it.

I wonder if the one dollar ice cream on bread vendors at Orchard Road are still peddling... I could use some nice brick-shaped ice cream on pandan bread right now.

Hmm... I wonder if braised duck rice has dairy ingredients on it too?

Reason 109

2008-09-24T23:15:00.002+08:00

Just happened to find that piece of paper again. I wonder if you still have the 108.

35... I don't mind that it's short by 73.

I have to say that I want to make it a total of 109.

109: I keep you in prayer.

Iced Coffee and Apples

2008-09-20T23:47:00.002+08:00

200908. Shall remember this date. I do not keep a journal anymore so for posterity this entry will be the reminder for what I received today.

In the coming weeks, months or even years I want to look back on this day and be able to say that this was another climbing point for my life. For the dreams that He has put in my life I really cannot look at myself and try to acheive those dreams because they are too big for me. There is no way that I can achieve them. It really has to be God.

I like what Pastor Benjamin shared about this Woman of God who had a tremendous healing ministry, I forgot her name but he mentioned that before this Woman would come up on stage she would "die a thousand deaths". She would just tell God that it is not about her, not about how the past meeting went or about how she feels, it was all about Him.

And really, Daddy God, it will have to be all You.

I am really blessed by the sudden ministering session for all the men - from men to Men of Honor.

It is better and more life-changing than enlistment. Until now I still remember 120107, the date when I enlisted and my life was no longer the same after that. Once more 200908, another significant date in my life. My life is no longer the same from this point.

Somehow this song was stuck in my head. I cannot remember when I last heard it but I just kept trying to sing out the chorus although I do not really know the song. Once I heard it and read the lyrics it really speaks to me. Enjoy!

Thankfulness

2008-09-16T07:01:00.003+08:00

I'm beginning to see things in a different light. Just last night I was complaining about the declining quality of the standard of food in this island resort and was slightly admonished by Oinky.

There are a lot of things that I could be thankful for like the fact that at least I have food to eat and I do not have to cook it myself.

After that when I saw today's breakfast I had a different attitude. It was supposed to have ham slices but they ran out, but I was thankful for the scrambled egg, beans and bread that was still available.

There are so many things to be thankful for but sometimes it is easier to see what is lacking.

It is high time to have a repentance in this aspect of my thinking.

Here's to an even more enjoyable last few weeks!

Peanut Butter Cookies

2008-09-15T22:14:00.003+08:00

I've been wondering how by the way we live our lives we can inspire others.

Just yesterday we saw an elderly lady eating Subway. Such a simple act as eating fast food can cause so much inspiration.

It was rare to see an elderly person eating in a so-called "happening" place such as Subway. Fast food joints are usually patronized by those of the younger generation so it was cool to see an elderly lady eating Subway.

She was friendly enough and started sharing with us bits of her life. She said that ever since she became a Christian she's been stronger despite being an octogenarian. This was literally renewal of youth like an eagle's.

Simply by how she is living her life she is a living testimony to the love of God and His grace.

Her life is so impacted by Jesus that she does not hesitate to tell others about how good God is.

I pray that my life could also be a living testimony that it would be so glorious that when people see my life and ask what is my secret I can tell them, "There is no secret. It is because I have Jesus!"

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Yesterday's service was really good too. Lots of things to reflect upon and to hear and keep hearing.

Before we pray, do we even stop and think who we are praying to? We are praying to Abba Father who did not withhold His only Son from us.

Is good results more important than Jesus? Is favor in the workplace more important than Jesus? Is health more important than Jesus? Is prosperity more important than Jesus?

All these things pale in comparison to the loveliness of Jesus and yet God gave the very best - Jesus, to die for us so that in exchange we may experience life and life more abundantly!

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After tomorrow... 58...

Soya Milk and Bananas

2008-09-14T09:33:00.004+08:00

The following week is going to be busy in camp. Going to have to stay in a few days but it feels good because it's the final stretch of this NS journey. Although I still have about two months to go after this coming week things are going to be more relaxed.

I can't wait for this week to be over!

Just want to share this article that has really blessed me...

Carve Out Time for the People Who Matter Most

Valorie Burton

Author & Life Coach

"No man on his deathbed ever said, 'I wish I had spent more time at the office.'"
— The late Sen. Paul Tsongas of Massachusetts

When I married and moved to Maryland in 2003, my father serendipitously received a promotion to move from Colorado to nearby northern Virginia. We had not lived in the same city since I graduated from high school and I was excited that he'd be just 20 miles away. Despite the close proximity, we both noticed something: We didn't actually see one another as often as we'd thought we would.

Have you ever noticed that life sometimes gets so busy that it gets in the way of what you say is most important? It's in those moments, that you must reassess your priorities and make sure your schedule reflects them. If you aren't intentional about how you spend your time, it will slip through your fingers without bringing you some of the experiences that make your life rich and fulfilling.

To make sure we made time together a priority, Dad and I decided to set a standing appointment. On Fridays, we meet for lunch. Same place. Same time. And on the occasions when one of us cannot make it, we make it a point to see each other at some other time. Our lunch date ensures that we never become so busy that we go for weeks, living in the same metro area, without visiting with each other face to face. We visit at other times, too, of course, but we don't rely on happenstance and special occasions to see each other regularly.

This week, I invite you to take a moment to consider the people with whom you most want to spend time with on a regular basis. Then carve out some time and put strong boundaries around it. There is so much vying for your attention that you must be intentional about making time for your relationships. For example, my husband and I carve out weekends to spend time together doing things we love with each other and people we care about. We also eat dinner together nearly every day. I make it my rule not to go more than four months without seeing my mother and little brother who live an hour-long plane ride away. And I have a couple of friends with whom I get together once a month or so. If we don't set a date, one of us calls the other to say, "Hey, it's time for us to get together."

To some, it may seem ridiculous to set appointments with yourself and the people you care about. Instead, I see it as a way to honor your most important relationships. In a world in which there is always something calling for your attention, it is essential that you take control of how you spend your time and put boundaries around the time that's meant for your most important priority—your relationships. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

- Invite friends or family over once a month for an old-fashioned Sunday dinner.
- Eat breakfast or dinner together as a family.
- Choose a weekly "date night" for you and your spouse or significant other.
- Have a "game night" with your children or friends.
- Choose a favorite pastime and schedule regular time to enjoy it with someone you want to spend time with consistently.
- Set a standard for how often you want to see loved ones who do not live in your area. Honor your standard by taking out your calendar and marking the dates.
- Carve out regular time just for you. Just as it is important to make time for the important people in your life, it's important to make time just for you, too!
- Come up with your idea by brainstorming with the person you want to carve out time for!

Living an inspired life means aligning your true priorities with your day-to-day actions. When you make time for your relationships, you'll notice that other less meaningful activities may fall by the wayside. Take a deep breath and let them go. You can't be all things to all people. Carve out time for the people who matter most to you. Enjoy!